Campaign of the Month: November 2018

The Red Hand

The Litany of the Mewling Quims

The Inn of the Tired Horse was filled to the brim this evening, for it was a rare occasion that a bard of Hulio the Fair’s fame came all the way to this cursed outpost in the middle of nowhere. The surrounding farmsteads and villages all congregated to the inn that night, husbands bringing their children and wives.
All silently waited for the bard, adjusting his instrument, basking in the excitement from the crowd. After a while, he lifted his left hand for silence and thus started the Litany of the Mewling Quims

(to the tune of an Irish drinking song)

There once was this band
Of the Dreaded Red Hand
Who hailed from some foreign land

Their name was so grim
A prophecy that they’d win
If they’d just stop losing their limbs

At their head a Transmuter
Hasdrubal the looter
Though I sure wish he was cuter

By his hand many foes
Perished by his mighty blows
After which he made many poses

His companions all scribes
I’m not making some gibes
For this song is not for diatribes

Orfée is the Enchantress
Who’s stuck to convalesce
Her friends who will never impress

Nasah’s their Necromancer
But he looks like a prancer
Yet his arrows are something to answer

Rhea the Diviner
Paranoid you’d say of her
Always looking into her damn mirror

Samir’s the illusionist
Who the rumors persist
That his pants contains a huge penis

And Eydan Stormmane
Let’s not forget his name
For his reward still needs to be claimed

Under their fearless leader
Hasdrubal the Cleaver
They came for Whadi’s dead treasures

Entering Whadi’s Necropolis
Which made the ghouls hiss
They saw that things sure looked amiss

After the undead escaped
They just charged and got raped
But somehow survived and looked quite scraped

In the end they saved Whadi
All scratched up they looked funny
Their trousers dripping with pee-pee

Now my song’s filled to the brim
I cannot write more on whim
For the heroes called the Mewling Quims

I hope you’ll remember
The names of its members
For some will soon surely be dismembered

Now should you meet them
One day don’t spit your phlegm
Instead you should gift them some items

Especially ones with magic
That should do the trick
And make sure to give them to Samir

Now my song’s at an end
Spread the word to your friend
For The Mewling Quims will soon transcend

Into what we don’t know
But I’m sure we’ll go ‘whoa’
For their deaths will not make Whadi cry in woe

Comments

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The Litany of the Mewling Quims
 

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The Litany of the Mewling Quims
 

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Wait ’till you hear the tune to it… teehee

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The Litany of the Mewling Quims
 
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