The Red Hand

Don't Taze Me Bro!
Death comes for us all

The fireball spell had worked out nicely, so Rhea thought a perusal of the evokers’ spell library was in order before her next assignment. As she worked she became keenly aware that something was off. It was widely known that evokers were the jocks of the magical community and their library tended to reflect that, barely containing its practitionners’ bro-ish attitude. Today however, everything was quiet.

Rhea looked around and realized those evokers she knew were actively avoiding her gaze. Curious, she approached a pair of apprentices for whom she had TAed and tried to probe them for information, but they weren’t having it. No matter, she had the tools at her disposition to get to the bottom of this. She bade them farewell and returned to the stacks. Once out of sight, she activated her clairaudience:
-… told her?
- I don’t know. It’s not like it’s a secret.
- I guess, and what could she do anyway? It’s not like Master Skarlag wasn’t within his rights.
- Still, you would think that by that time you’d be safe. How’d it happen anyway.
- Oh, you know Eydan was given a bunch of extra teaching assistant duty, right? Well, the master had been using him to show students how to channel incoming energy back into their spells and it seems like he overestimated Eydan’s ability to absorb electricity.
- Ouch.
- Yeah. The worst part was that some of the students wanted to go get a healer and Skarlag told them they shouldn’t waste their time and instead they should focus on learning from Eydan’s mistakes if they didn’t want to share his fate.
- Will there be a funeral or something?
- I don’t think so, when the class was over, Skarlag just teleported away with the body.
- Fuck bro, that’s harsh.
- I know…

Samira's Adventure Log - A Conclusion to Whadi's Curse

Well, I finally found a door and used my port key to go into the Academy, rushing to get aid for my blindness and returning to deal into the fray, for surely the scribes will face an untimely death at the head (nudge-nudge… get it? Ha!) of that shrieking harpy, especially since soon after making my exit, I got bumped on the shoulder by an equally frantic (and equally blind) Hasdrubal, cursing this granny head and vowing to find a way never to be robbed of his senses again, whatever that means…
Anyway, I quickly hear the voice of the Teleporter Guy, Colm Meany or something like it, who wants to make a deal in exchange for getting back my sight. Since blindly walking the halls of the Academy in search of my Master didn’t seem like the fastest way to come back to help the scribes, I readily agreed.


So I need to get something called a Delithium Matrix, which is found in Rusk. Oh, it it’s controlled by their military no less and it’s used to power their mechs. Well, this is going to be easy…
At least, he said there was “no rush” to it. No rush it will be then! teehee.


So it turns out that the remaining scribes kicked some ass in our absence and won the fight! Nasah took control of one of the skeletal warrior and ended up threatening Grumpy Granny with death if she didn’t shut the hell up, which she did. A day of Miracles!
So Rhea met with Hasdy and I and we were soon teleported in the city proper (not where were came from, which is disappointing to say the least…). So we hurried through the catacombs we explored yesterday and soon met with the victorious Nasah and Orfée, who was busy searching through the library.
Grumpy Granny, Nefereku, gave us all the information she had on her grandson, in-between insults that would make a sailor blush. I kinda like her style, when her attention is not directed at me of course.


We explored the other side of the corridor and came upon another library, this one containing death records of the inhabitant’s family (the other library was filled with birth records. So a life library and a death library it seems).

While snooping around I found a secret compartment with a trinket in it! Samir is getting pretty good at finding hidden things, and Samir likes it!
Orfée, for her part, takes the most recent records of both life and death for herself, surely to study them and find some hidden “compartments” of her own.


We arrive in a room with a blue-tiled floor and as soon as I stepped inside the room tiles began to float in mid-air, spinning. Oh, and crashing into me, of course. The blow was so hard that it threw me outside the room. And it hurt like a bitch.


Well, the tiles are spent, so I guess we’re good to go!


We arrive in a room with a giant statue of Anubis in the middle, and what turned out to be a Crypt Thing hiding behind it. The whole party was separated by its ability to teleport enemies randomly.
Luck was on my side on this one, as I got moved inside a dormitory with my trusty friend, Hasdy. Hearing the sound of battle nearby, we quickly made our way back into the fray. This battle was a hard one and we barely made it. Nasah and I nearly died, but were brought back to life by our Repeat Life–Saver, Orfée.


So we’re in front of these huge doors and we can hear some kind of ritual going on inside. My guess is the person responsible for this death pulse is within. So for the first time ever, the Mewling Quims PREPARE for battle BEFORE charging head-first into trouble! See!? We’re Learnin’ stuff!


Rhea decided to take a potion of recollection the Academy gifted, which turns out to be poisoned! She instantly fell asleep. Imagine what would’ve happened if she drank it during a battle. All the group is perplexed at this event, but I know who is behind this treachery. -Newman- Theofyr! When I get back to the Academy, I will see that he gets his just desert… Oh you’ll see. YOU’LL SEE!!
For my part, I drink a potion of Spider Climbing and I used a recently-acquired wand of invisibility as my strategy. As soon as the door open I charge inside and start climbing to the ceiling While Rhea throws a fireball into the little army of zombies that the grandson (who’s flying, by the way, making Hasdrubal’s attack rather complicated to achieve) summons to his aid.
And the battle is ON!


We managed to win the fight! We did it! We even captured that bastard (an Academy Renegade, no less!) that was a- flying out of reach of Hasdy most of the time, b- had a stone skin spell on himself and c- kept using his rod of energy-draining on us, since he was unable to cast spells on our band because I kept wrapping him in darkness.


So we’re back at the Academy and we are issued spending money. AGAIN! Ooooohh yeah!

Guilty Pleasures...

While perhaps the most academically-inclined school heads, Althea knew full well that her post carried some political role to it. She did not particularly enjoyed this aspect but she knew how to play the game. As such, she would sometime hosts cocktail parties, dreary affairs where she and her colleague would network or discuss administrative concerns. Some of her students would act as the waiting staff for these events. Perhaps counter-intuitively, such assignments were intended as reward for meritorious neophyte mages. A chance to rub elbows with the movers and shakers of the academy, to see who’s who from up close.

Eventually the guests would start to bid their farewell and their number would dwindle until Althea and her three best friends, Marjan, Aikio and Iriyani, remained. At this point, a handful of group of scantly clad male student would pose for their benefit while they discussed matters of a more personal nature.

Tonight was one of such parties, it was getting late and the remaining waiting staff was down to the three would be models for what followed. While many would consider this to be degrading, for Hasdrubal it was just an occasion to display the fruits of his labour. After all the bodybuilder is both artist and canvas… A living work of art.

Yes, it was all good fun… With one catch, Hasdrubal had seen how scathing the women could be to a model who would not live up to their standard…

Turok entered the kitchen and gave an Hasdrubal a nod. The orc was gigantic, a towering figure standing almost a feet over Hasdrubal, a tall man himself. But Turok was something else… possibly the strongest man under the academy’s roof.

Turok’s eye turned to the androgynous looking elf quietly undressing at the other side of the room, he quickly sized him up and scoffed.

«Who’s the new guy?» inquired Turok.

Hasdrubal, already stripped to a loin cloth, poured olive oil in his hand and started rubbing his arm and chest. He handed the pitcher to the orc.

«That’s Kyras. He’s alright.»

«Tell me why you are here, Hasdrubal.»

Althea did not turn while addressing him. She continued transcribing scroll his back to him while Hasdrubal stood at the entrance of her study.

«We encountered a trio of…»

Althea cut him off: «I’ve read your written briefing. Tell me why you are here.»

Her intonation was not accusative, but matter-of-facty.

Hasdrubal audibly sighted.

«I thought my companions would not be able to overcome the foes without my assistance. I assumed retreat was inevitable to cure the blindness the creature had afflicted upon me. I’ve lost my nerve.»

«What could you have done?»

«I could have casted an obscuring mist. Hinder the skeleton visibility to even the playing field, protect myself and my companion from the creature’s gaze.»

«What have you learned?»

«With no means to cure blindness or deafness at our disposal we are particularly vulnerable to curses affecting our ability to see or hear. However, a transmuter should not bound by what is.»

«What will you do?»

«I am working on a spell, one that will enhance the senses of the caster to the point he would not be hindered by the loss of one of his senses.»

«Good. There is nothing else to discuss. Dismiss.»

«Yes, Mistress.»

«Kyras, come over.» Hasdrubal intoned.

Kyras having finished changing, complied. His eyes betrayed a certain apprehension.

In a different context the elf’s delicate figure would have attracted the desirous glance of a many womanfolk but stripped of his courtier clothes, it contrasted unfavorably to the husky builds of Turok and Hasdrubal. This realization had not escaped Kyras.


Hasdrubal picked up a few reagent from his spell component pouch lying on the ground.

«Hold still.»

Hasdrubal concentrated and touched Kyras shoulder. «Fus Ro Dah!»

Kyras immediately started bulking up under the effect of the spell. He assessed his new-found strength by flexing his right arm. Kyras smiled and his eyes flared with a new confidence.

He wouldn’t look pathetic, Hasdrubal thought to himself, but he would still look out of place…

Hasdrubal looked around saw on the counter a glass sphere serving as a plateau ornament. Hasdrubal pulled the small sphere from its tripod and handed it to Kyras.

«Take this. When you’re posing, alternate between contemplative and intense and imperious. You’ll do just fine.»

Kyras smiled and nodded to Hasdrubal before retreating to his corner to practice.

«Why did you help him?» asked Turok

«I seem to remember you giving me pointers when I started too, Turok.»

«Ha! And now I have to contend with you upstarts stealing my thunder. Serves me right.» quipped Turok before letting out a loud laugh.

Orfée's first use of enchantment

this is a good ay so far. We are far from done by I am happy!!! Yes, finally today I was able to use my magic to help the group. The unlady like leader of the group of enemy that we meet before in our last tomb – temple I should say is now my best friend… I like being able to help people see the right side of things.

But to get there we had to fight our way inside this temple of knowledge… Firstly aiding the city again traveling here and there on errands and mission to help bring order in the city. We meet and investigated appearance of outerplanar creature summoned by a branch of the church in the city and not ashamed of cause collateral damage…

We meet this guy, Nakt Schepsis the highest ranking of what I can call the military branch of Nhetis church. He was defying the high priestess, without our intervention it may have been very bad results but we calm the situation and had to prove to him our mantle. Which we did but it was a closer call than we hoped for and it depleted us of some resources that we are desperately in need now….

In our investigation of this Knowledge place we found a secret passage which lead to a tomb. In this tomb that was dedicated to the Schepsis we found a shield that may be useful in our quest now – if only Mavrikos could wield it, I am sure we would much the better as a group. Killing more zombies and such monster yet again….

We are currently outside a room where we fought this things, an old granny or undead, anyway a head in a cage that controlled skeleton fighters. We did all we could to finally win the fight but it does not feel like victory. We have cower this head into telling us information, but she is the great-grand mother of the current chief of this cult of the mask, and apparently the mask we are seeking is hidden in this labyrinth of rooms somewhere…

I hope we will get there in time….

Samira's adventure log - The fireball festival.

After a good night of killing and nearly getting killed, we come back to the priests’ headquarters to report on the Silver Chain Gang’s annihilation. Yay Mewling Quims!


As we walk the streets, we see that the richest merchants, those able to hire guards, are starting to re-open, which is a good thing for the city, I guess. The prices though… WOW! They’ve really skyrocketed since their closures. Guess I’ll remain in this body for a while. Wonder if my manhood will start bleeding eventually… hmmm, food for thought.


The priestess is happy to have her old friend alive and (somewhat) well. She’s tired as hell though, but our dear Orfée is ready for help with a handy spell, as usual. We are tasked to investigate a section of town where demon dogs or some such are prowling the night, hunting the undead, but with complete disregard for innocent lives, which is an issue for Orfée and Nasah for some reason.


Welp, we found some! They spotted a bunch of zombies trying to eat a woman in the streets and jumped in the fray, seriously hurting the poor girl in the process. Boy are these beasts FAST and nasty looking!
I had an idea then, to become the bait for these beasts and removing them from the vicinity of the girl so that Orfée could heal her in peace. So I ran to the corner of the street and activated my ring-of-being-dead, waving my hand around to get their attention. No movement was needed, as they smelled my dead-status the moment I activated my precious, and pounced in my direction right away. I barely had time to deactivate it and make myself small in a perfume shop’s doorway before they were ten feet from me, confused at having lost their scents. They then howled their rage and sprinted into the night.
Samir saves the night! Orfée was able to save the girl and when we tried to follow the tracks of the demon doggies, we suddenly lost them, as if they vanished into thin air! How was that possible?! Oh yeah, magic. I always forget about magic.


On our way back, we came to a gruesome scene, where we found recently dead corpses, all missing an eye, the blood trails leading to a district court building. I snuck up on the scene and saw what I can only describe as a skeleton bailiff throw out yet another victim outside and disappear inside. I decided to take a peek inside and saw that the courtroom was empty save from 4 bailiffs and some bone judge wearing the funniest-looking hat I ever saw. Seriously, the hat was funny looking!
Aaaanyway, I didn’t lose time and threw a fireball right smack in the middle of the courtroom, hitting three of the four foes all at once. The bailiff right next to the judge was destroyed right there, exploding in the process and hurting the judge even more. Before they could react, I sent another one in the bunch while my companions rushed forward in panic at my liberal use of fireballs. We made quick work of the survivors and that was that. Turns out the funny judge hat was a magical circlet that helped with the convincing of people, which I took as my share of the loot. A coat of honey on my already golden tongue? Who will resist me now I wonder? Ha!


So we’re back to the Tooth and Hookah to take a well-deserved rest. The keeper brings forth a box filled with gifts from the Jackal Tavern where we saved some ass the night before if memory serves. How nice of them! So the party get ready to leave for bed, but I had a secret mission to go to before I could join them. Teehee.


In the morning, we woke up yawning and ready for breakfast, only to be interrupted by the love-struck armorer with a gift for Rhea, a nice-looking Mithral Shirt. He showed the whole party gratitude with a promise of cutting a quarter of his wares’ price should we ever need anything. A generous gift indeed. I really should try that caring thing with others one day… We didn’t have time to rejoice though, as a messenger barged in the inn, huffing and puffing, with urgency in his eyes. We were required to make haste to see the priestess for an emergency. Sigh. I hate skipping breakfast.


When we arrive and the priestess’ headquarters, we came upon what appears to be a lover’s spat. You know, screaming, arguing, the whole thing.
The priestess was in an argument with the head of the zealots’ soldiers about the use of the demon dogs. So the bastard was responsible for the killing of the undead, who were killing innocent lives at a greater rate than the dogs, which is bad for some reason. Orfée tried to convince Grumpy to stop employing the beasts, without success. I must’ve missed some part of the conversation, ‘cause we ended up accepting a duel with a weird-looking skull bird monster angel thing and two of those demon dogs.


We won! By the skin of our balls. No idea how we achieved it, but we did! Grumpy had to agree to stop sending summoned monsters against the undead and instead sacrifice human lives in the form of his soldiers, which is great news, or so Nasah and Orfée tells me.


The priestess provides us clues to find the source of the undead-waking pulses. We can either try to infiltrate a cult of weird creatures living in the Necropolis, or we can select to locate magic compasses and try to triangulate the whereabouts of the source. We selected to go with the compasses, chose from a list of options (we chose the observatory) and off we go, through the secret tunnels we found while killing the Silver Chain Gang.


We arrived at the observatory without any nasty surprises, which is a nice change for once. While the scribes were busy tinkering with the compass, who was acting crazy for some reason, I was busy looking around, and what do you know! I’ve found a secret trapdoor! After some searching, guessing and reciting all the prayers found on the walls, Nasah was able to open it with the proper prayer. We suspect that we got lucky for once! We’ve stumbled upon the source on the first try! Awesome!


Dang, we were followed by those damn cultists, so let’s fight!


We won! We even made a prisoner in the leader of the enemies, some bard lady that Orfée charmed into confiding details about their intentions. Time for some ‘splorin’!


We got into a room with a shit ton of zombies. Luckily, most were chained to the wall. Did I mention I LOVE fireballs?


Another relatively win! (Boy, was it last week that we were struggling against your run-of-the-mill vipers? Wow!)


Ok, I entered a room and came face to face with a roomful of skeleton warriors and the caged head of the angriest grandma I ever saw in my life. I never saw so much hatred emanating from someone in my life, and I know Theofyr!
I got instantly blinded by the sight, so I’ve opted to use my port key and run back into the academy to get rid of my lack of seeing stuff. That is all I know now. I hope my friends fared better without my help!

An unfortunate meeting at night

Soritsu shuffled his feet, nervous. The minor city official kept glancing left and right, weary of the undead that was still plaguing the city, particularly during the night.

He was starting to regret accepting this meeting, especially considering the chosen location and the fact that angry corpses, hungry for the living, were still prowling the night.

However, since the undead poured out of the Necropolis to wreak havoc a few nights ago, the city officials worked Soritsu and his criers to the bone, and there was no extra pay involved. His staff were dead tired and frightened for themselves and their loved ones, unable to protect them with their presence. So when came the opportunity to make extra gold came under the guise to the most mesmerizing woman Soritsu ever saw, he jumped on it like a dwarf seeing a copper piece laying on the streets.

She was late, of course. Soritsu shook his head, smiling. “Women” he sighed dreamily. His ungentlemanly thoughts were eventually interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching the alley. He looked up, seeing a familiar shadow with womanly curves. How a blurry shadow could still keep the generous attributes of this woman, he wondered as he quickly passed his hand through his hair, making sure he was presentable.

“My apologies for being late to our meeting, my good man! I was detained. You know, lady stuff and whatnot” the lady cheerily intoned by way of introduction.

“No problem, my fair lady! After all, a woman needs time to prep-“.

Soritsu was interrupted by the sight before him. His jaw simply dropped, unable to form words and finish his sentence, which would’ve been untrue anyway. Before him stood the same lustrous creature he was fantasising about since his first glimpse of her, sporting the same signature grin that never seemed to leave her face. However, her hair was singed at places and her clothes were ripped in numerous places, brown blood still caking the borders of each holes.

“No problem, my good man! Now, on to business!” she grinned, nonchalantly tossing him a bag of coins and a parchment attached to it. Soritsu caught the purse in time, although not gracefully, still recovering from the sight before him.

“My lady”, he stammered. “What happened to you?” he asked.

“Huh? Oh, that! Girl stuff, like I told you. Nothing a little STICK and two BALLS can’t fix, eh? EH!?” she laughed, poking him in the ribs, mischievous grin still in place.

Soritsu swallowed, confused and a little uncomfortable by her clumsy, yet un-lady like use of puns.

“All the money’s there. Forty gold pieces, like we agreed upon”

“B-but my lady, we agreed for fifty gold pieces…”

“Oh? Damnit, what a shame”. She pouted, like a little girl, even turning her index finger at the corner of her mouth, a caricature. “Oh! I got an idea!” she exclaimed, eyebrows moving up and down repeatedly. “How ‘bout a feel of my boobs! Eh? EH!? They’re awesome! Look!” She brought the remnants of her blouse down, her breasts exploding outside their (formerly) tight confines.

Soritsu was too shocked to react. He was simply gaping, unable to form a coherent thought.
“Your eyes tell me it’s a deal! FINALLY! I made these bad boys specifically for this and the scribes don’t even wanna touch ‘em!” she keeps babbling, casually taking both of the poor sod’s hands and bringing them to her bosom. That is where Soritsu lost it. Such a gorgeous, immodest woman! “Yes. Yes! We have a deal, my fair lady! The news will be told in all the city’s squares and the surrounding villages! The whole world will know of Hasdrubal’s protection and patronage of Whadi!”

“And don’t forget his merry band, the Mewling Quims, yes?” she casually said, grinning in understanding at Soritsu’s star-struck gaze.

“Yes! Absolutely! I remember! The announcement must have at least ten mentions of the Mewling Quims, with the proper inflection when pronouncing them! I remember, my lady!” he ranted, feverish.

He couldn’t control himself by that point, unable to stop his hand from felling up between her legs.

Something stopped him short, shock replacing lust in a matter of seconds.

“That wasn’t part of the deal, big boy” came a reply, the deep voice of a man coming from her mouth, still grinning.

“Wh-what is…”

“Oh that? That would be a penis, a phallus, a schlong, a sausage”

Soritsu stood there, in shock, unable to move. “W-What are you?” he finally gasped.

“Oh? Me?” she asked, lightly? Her voice turned deeper still, theatre-like, her grin vanished.
“I’m a corpse eater, condemned to eat the souls of oath breakers and take some parts their appearance, forever changing, never being whole. I hunger for broken promises, Soritsu… will I become a part of you?” she intoned with a dark voice.

“I-I.. W-w…”

“Or not” she casually shrugged, grin returning. “Maybe I’m just fucking with you with magic. Or hell, maybe I’m just a dude in drag, or a chick with a pole underneath her pants? Who knows, really? Hey, wanna cup a feel of corpse boobs? ‘Cause I can totally do this for you, too! It’s weird at first, but you get used to it, believe me!”

Soritsu kept staring, paralysed from a mixture of abject terror and confusion at the absurdity of what his ears were processing.

“Well alright, then! When you’re ready to release my junk from your grip, we’ll go on our merry way, yes?”

Soritsu quickly released her manhood, shocked he was still holding it in the first place. “Y-yes, my… lady?”

“Sure! Why not? Off you go, Soritsu. I hope to hear the good word by tomorrow, or I’ll be hungry” she squeaked the last word girlishly, still grinning.

Soritsu did not need further invitation. He turned to run away, but was grabbed by the shoulder. Turning slowly, gulping, he stared at her grinning face once again.

“Say, you wouldn’t know someone I could talk with to commission a life-sized statue of a group of people, no?”

“Wh-what?” he stammered.

“Oh! Or how about a fountain sculpted to have Whadi’s hero, with me, Orfée and Rhea, submissively grabbing his legs, y’know, like those cheap romantic-action book covers teenagers like to buy?”

Soritsu’s shoulders sagged, resigned.

Orphée promenade

Well, last night and today were interesting days. After the auction we helped the city with undead issues. This as not as fun as it could have been but the gate of the necropolis are secured for now.

The next day finds us helping and trying to investigate the disappearance of one of the priesthood. Well our friend Rhea was tracking this one as he had suspicious behavior at the auction. This helped us track him faster. We did get to silver chain hideout, anyway what we think it to be. I hope we will find clues to the whereabouts of our higher mission.

Inside, we fought some guard thugs but one dangerous and were nasty thing. I though I had seen many bad things and experience some more with the vargouile, but this internal organ undead-construct of I don’t know what was one nasty thing and very strong at it. I never though some people evil enough to create such abomination… Well now this newer nightmare is pass and I will add it to my list of experience for my life…

Continuing exploring we found a lab where poison and alchemical mixed were done. To what end we don’t know but this was yet again nasty stuff – is the world that bad? I hope not but I have yet to find true evidence of goodness and compassion in the areas we explore.

Finding the final place where the leader of this organization is located, we enter and a fight erupted almost immediately. The result is as expected, blood and killing everywhere. I am sad that we could not resolve this other ways. I must I am partly responsible and got carried away by the group where they prepared for a fight I should have stepped up and insist on a parlay of some kind. We are looking for information after all and now the only way we have that I can think of to have some information is to dabble with a corpse – how barbaric… I think we missed a preciously rare opportunity to capture the local head of this organization and get good facts on how and where the item we are looking for maybe located…

Well, we are now going back to the inn, celebrating a victory that does not feel like one to me and see how we can figure things out…

Samira's Adventure Log - Part 2
in which curiosity nearly killed the cat (or is it pussy now?)

We’ve survived the night, thanks in part to my usefulness! Mine! Like, Samir’s! Who’da thunk it?!

Of course, this helps in boosting my already too good mood to dangerous levels. As our strategists confer on our next move, I softly whistle a tune and make a song on the fly, to the tune of that old sect anthem, the StoneCutters.

♫ Who discuss things endlessly
Who gets beaten thoroughly
We doooooo. We dooooo
♫ Who see death’s light everyday
Who kiss monsters all the way
We dooooo. We doooo!
♫ Who fireballs the easy foes – Who acid splashes.. THE PROS?
We doooooo we dooooo!
♫ The Mewling Quims! Yay Us!

The reaction I get from Hasdrubal at the mention of our endearing name is something I shall exploit in the near future at any chance we have. Maybe announcing him to strangers as our leader would be a nice start. I wonder how much it costs to hire town cryers…

Aaaanyway, we end up going to the Priests’ HQ to ask if they needed a little help and they asked us to go help guard a Necropolis Door. I’ll add “Guard” to my list of accomplishment I guess.

As we make our way to our target, we encounter a bunch of young looters, busy stealing the goods from an old geezer’s tea shop. I steel myself for a loooong talking session from the scribes, but I’m pleasantly surprised by the sudden blood lust exhibited by our group and join in the fun of bullying small bullies. The fight is a piece of cake, and after a scolding by Ofrée and Rhea, things return to normal and we’re off to our designated door guarding area.

When we arrive, we are met with a priestess who wants us to add “errand boy” to our résumés, as she wants us to fetch ingredients needed to perform a binding spell on the door. As she is writing a list of ingredients, some type of shadow thingy comes through the door and set its sight on the oblivious god bootlicker. Rhea, who never seems to be surprised by anything (challenge accepted!), see it before anyone else and interposes herself between the sycophant and the Shadow. Quite brave, coming from someone who I secretly watched struggle filling her cup with a water pitcher who was full during our first night of celebration. The gamble worked though, as we were able to kill it, with yours truly performing the killing blow no less!

The immediate threat being neutralized, we confer and there is a debate between doing what we were asked to do and sending me above the wall to rain down fireballs into the midst of the undead pushing against the door. We settle on one of my favorite philosophy of “Why not BOTH?!” and I fire one from the murder hole before going back to do our errand.

After being good boys, the high priest mentions the disappearance of one of their senior members who happened to be at the auction a few hours previous. Rhea seems to know everything already about the old fool, so she shares the information she has. Damn know-it-all; she better not know what I’m about to test with that newly acquired appendage I got for myself tonight…

So we’re to go into a side of town called “The Veins” where Rhea pinpointed the location of the damsir-in-distress. Arriving there, we are met with 2 city guards who tries to make us believe that they have the situation under control and that we should leave.

I use my magic to become besties with one of them as Rhea makes the other one go night-night with one of her 3000 scrolls of sleep spells (methinks we got ourselves a chronic insomniac in our midst).
We are able to pry information out of my new friend about a recent change of management in the Silver Chain Gang in the form of mask-wearing duderinos or some such. Anyway, off we go to apprehend (ha!) the baddies!

Of course, the first thing we do is fall into a pit. Well, Hasdrubal did (Yay-not-me!), but he’s a tough nut to crack (unless you sing “Mewling Quims” nonstop during the whole night from the room next to him) and comes back out, using a rope three of us struggle to hold on to.

Next we come into a storeroom and while we explore the place, Nasah gets attacked by animated internal organs. And he gets hit HARD! We nearly lost the poor sob. In this fight. Orfée save his life, as usual and we are barely able to kill the damn thing. A special thanks to Rhea for summoning cannon fodder after cannon fodder to split the atrocity’s attention. I had a stroke of genius yet again in this fight when I activated my cursed ring and became a corpse, thus making me invisible to the creature.

We then opened a door that led down stairs to a canal used for deliveries. Our squabbling alerted 2 thugs and a hyena who asked us what we were doing there. Before I could golden tongue them à la Samir, Orfée came forward and tried her best to remove their suspicions to little effect. The blood, gore and Nasah’s litres of vomit on our clothes didn’t help at all either, but a fireball into the room downstairs quickly killed one of the villain and we did short work on the hyena. The other one jumped in the water and escaped.

We then came into an alchemy laboratory where an idiot killed himself with a bad experiment or something. The poison was still in the air and got hold of Orfée’s senses. She started bashing her head against a wall and had to be physically removed from the room. Since I was still a corpse, I had no such problems, so I remained in the room and looted the place good. We found a note on the corpse about something for someone to do things before something did a thing to something… bah! I gave the list to the smartest cookies in the bunch and let them figure things out. Thinking is boooring… and dangerous when I do it.

So we liberated the naked abductee and burst into the boss’ room with Rhea’s summoned pet at the ready. Before the boss could yell what the hell was going on, Rhea created a pit under him, which he avoided falling into. BUT, Hasdrubal bull-rushed him so good into it that he also fell in with our foe, along with Rhea’s pet… and another one she was summoning. The three of them were having a field day on the poor bastard, so while I kept shrieking encouragements to Hasdrubal (Go Hasdy! Brake his legs! Make the Quim Mew! Mew Mew, Asshole! Die!), I went in search of treasure… and never saw two bodyguards exiting a secret door and attack me in unison. I was a dead man for sure! But YET AGAIN, Orfée saved my sorry ass, which I will be eternally grateful for until I die.. and she bring me back to life again I guess.

Damn curiosity of mine will be the death of me, but I just can’t help it! I can’t wait to master illusions more and be able to be unable to see most of the time! Ohh the pranks I’ll pull. For instance, did you know that the “Sculpt Corpe” spell can make me either smaller OR bigger? Since I can do it multiple times in a row, guess who’ll take a dragon-sized shit on our group’s stronghold during the night one day? THIS GUY!!!! Ha!

Journal of Rhea Amelia Namtab - Part 6
Game 8 - The Kiln in the Veins

– Previous Entry -

We are accept to rendez-vous with the priestess overseeing one of the gates leading to the necropolis, and to report back on her status. On the way, we encounter a few looters taking advantage of the situation. A few Sleep spells and a stern talking to and the wannabe criminals turn into – almost – model citizens.

Arriving at the gate, we learn that they are holding, despite being assaulted by scores of zombies. However, the priestess recommends we retrieve spell components for her to add an additional ward, just in case. While she is transcribing her orders, which we will take back to the main temple, an intangible figure phases through the massive door and heads towards the unsuspecting priestess. I interpose my body, a poor decision. The thing thrives on physical strength, of which I have very little. Lesson learned, I wrongly tell myself, and step away to let my cadre of compadres ample room to close in on the phantom menace.

The spectre proves itself to be both manoeuvrable and resilient. It moves around the ineffective Hasdrubal, and lays a mighty blow on the priestess. Magical arrows loosed from Nasah’s bow and a Disrupt Undead spell from the fearless Samira (he has yet to turn back to his less caricatural masculine form) free the ghostly presence from this mortal coil. A quick return trip to the main temple and back, and we proceed with the ritual which will make the gate imperceptible to undead eyes.

The next morning, after a quick breakfast, we set out again. The city seems less threatening with the sunlight above, and a full head of spells at my disposal. Our path will soon bring us to the Veins, a map to what we assume will be the Silver Chain’s headquarters was tattooed on the wagon masters’s arm. But first, we report to the priests coordinating the city’s fight against the undead scourge.

At the temple, we learn that the fellow I had tagged with my Compact of Seeing is a leading expert on the secret life of the undead, and our best bet in getting a handle on the problem currently plaguing the city. His presence in the Veins is also confirmed by the second-hand report of his invisible Nosoi friend, Quasim.

On the way to the Veins, we come across yet another pack of zombies, quickly dispatched by Fireball and a summoned celestial dog, my first summoned creature to survive a full combat, if memory serves. The event is celebrated with a thorough head scratching, until the magnificent beast pops out of this plane of existence.

At the Kiln, we make it pass the guards through guile. I can’t believe it worked. My best guess: once the effects of our Charm Person and Sleep spells had subsided, the hapless guards must have thought that whoever comes out on top, their bosses or ourselves, it would now be a wise move to skip town.

We enter a dark corridor. Hasdrubal falls in a hole. We pull him out. We then look for, and find, a hidden switch, locking the pit’s door in place. Leaving Doxepine, my scorpion familiar, to stand guard behind us, we proceed to dark storage area. We split up to search more effectively. Suddenly, Nasah cries out. He is being attacked by an amorphous collection of internal organs that have decided to unionize, stand up to the man, and externalize.

I made two mistakes in this fight. The first was to be overly conservative with my resources, using lesser spells even though the foe was fierce. I call upon a pack of celestial dogs, only one appears. He is quickly eaten. I call upon yet another dog. He suffers the same fate. I took too long before summoning the mighty celestial wolverine, who literally took a gigantic bite out of our foe. The wolverine last a bit longer, but eventually also falls to the abomination’s relentless attacks. I should have called upon yet another. Instead, I forgot about my earlier promise to myself and headed to the front lines in order to assist Hasdrubal, whom I mistakenly thought was in dire peril. My efforts were for naught and the beast took me down in seconds. Orfée once again saves the day, by preventing the deaths of both Nasah, and myself. I will also take note here of Samir’s ingenious way of using his necromantic ring to become invisible to the creature’s lifesense.

Our exploration leads us to an underground waterway, an odourous alchemist’s lab, and – after reuniting with Doxepine – to a barracks area where we find our priestly friend held at the bottom of a well. I burn through a scoll of Levitate to get him out. We return to him clothing and holy symbol, and prepare to storm the evil cleric’s room. Sorry Orfée, diplomacy is off the table at the moment. It is celestial wolverine time.

No sooner have we entered the room, that I cast Create Pit around the leader’s desk. He jumps to safety, but is tackled back in by Hasdrubal, followed by the wolverine. Tight quarters, and two raging maniacs make short order of our foe.

Meanwhile, a second battle takes place above, and Samira is in the middle of it. A pair of henchpeople burst through a secret door and proceed to give Samira an unscheduled acupuncture treatment. We almost lose him. Nasah, and a summoned lantern archon make quick work of one foe, but the other escapes in the maze of secret tunnels, pursued by the archon.

Taking the bodies with us, we escort our rescued friend back to the temple. It is time for the living to strike back!

Coming back to my senses, I join my companions in exploring the rest of this complex.

– Next Entry -

Nasah's guide to practical Necromancy - 4
Chapter 1: The Necropolis (Part 4)

Note: Part 2 and 3 are still not written yet….

Undead Control

Spending some time on the field, and especially in Whadi’s necropolis and the city itself gave me opportunities to increase my grasp on general necromantic concepts. This knowledge was enough to give me increased understanding of arcanic formulaes. I was able to consult the school’s library and learn a few more tricks.
This brings me to a side track: Share Spells! When you can share spells, fellow wizards will often be open to share their spells if you share in return. However, be careful who you share with; ultimately you share responsibility in a spell’s use for good or for ill. Spell sharing is a great way to spread the knowledge and in a way proceed to evangelisation of your profound convictions.

Back in the main city, our group decided to put some of the retrieved items for auction. I was excited to assist the auction since I laid my eye on a manuscript detailing ancient techniques of embalming that could be handy in my line of work.

In the middle of the auction, loud noises came in the direction of the main doors, almost like a riot… However, when the doors burst open, about a dozen undeads barged in: Zombies, Ghouls and even crawling hands!! I was flooded with mixed emotions: initial excitement as I encountered my first mob of the living dead and with such diversity, such opportunity to learn!!! Then came the overwhelming sense of duty, some real lives were in danger, lots of the general populace and aristocrats were attending the event and they were the first ones to be attacked but the undeads. Finally, I was drowned by disgust, I came to realize these undeads where unleashed here, this was not a “natural occurrence” or random event! Meaning someone had a perverted ambition to disrupt the event or even target specific individuals. They were using undeads, PEOPLE, against their will to cause harm like a twisted act of necrophilia…

As soon as we started to gain the upper hand on the unruly mob of the decaying, a Mummy appeared from a side-door. I was paralyzed by awe and fear as my companions bravely fought-on. It took me a long time but I finally came about my senses. In the end we were victorious, and the brief sentiment of shame that I felt was quickly replaced by pride as I know we saved countless lives at the auction house.

Tip: If forced to fight ghouls; use ranged spells and frost to slow them down, they carry a curse and can paralyze on the slightest touch. Crawling claws are very nimble and have a tendency to choke you at the throat! This can be very deadly especially if you are paralyzed. If you can, try to shove them in a hole or isolate them in a cage while you focus on bigger threats. Another efficient technique is to make use of the “Control Undead” spell. If successful you may have it attack other undeads and they are generally ignored by them as they will focus on attacking the living. Doing so brings a moral dylemma, am I also guilty of cruelty against undeads?


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