Today I will not bother to regal you with stories of my adventures, for today I met my end at the hands of of that hussy who had a screaming match with our former ally, Mavrikos (oh how I miss his skill with the blade! Moreso than making slight fun of his zealotry).
So got out of prison, joined the group, yady yada…
As I stood watch at the northern corridor while the scribes bickered over 2 theories regarding the clues in a hidden room (I mean, come ON people! A statue made to hold an object and that is empty handed…), we (and by “we”, I mean “I”) were suddenly ambushed by that angry wench and her foul henchmen. I was immediately struck with a ray of acid, which hurt like a prostitute’s private on herpes-day.
While I was reari g from the blow, that bitch quickly followed up with a burning hand spell, that surely killed me since darkness engulfed my senses. But I soon woke up in a room filled with beds and lovely ladies in skimpy outfits, all trying to get my attention with suggestive looks and smiles.
I needn’t have more clues and soon undressed, getting a kiss from one of these sweet, sweet angels. I reached to another one, but she seemed to recoil in disgust. Before I could react though, she shuddered in the ugliest orgasm face I ever saw in my life, but soon opened her eyes, smiled like the rest, and joined in on the fun.
I was busy getting busy, but as I was gasping in pleasure I looked into a miror and gasped in horror. My reflection was that of an obese monstrosity, a mix between a fat no leman and a fetid ghoul. I quickly shook my head and looked again. There I was! Sexy Samir, about to use his golden tongue in ways to make even a corpse sigh in pleasure.
It must have been that post-traumatic episode I was having, because I suddenly woke up to Orfée’s guarded look, watching my tongue perform some ridiculous (ONLY WHILE OUT OF CONTEXT I SWEAR!) motions.
Back to the living I was, with an earth-shattering erection in my trousers no less.
Awkwardly trying to hide my pitched tent, I stood up and joined the fray… only to be struck down another time.
Back to the harem I was, to the look of utter shock from the ladies (not to brag, but I do that allll the time with the ladiez!).
“Your punishment is back, priestesses! Now know my WRATH” a voice intoned. How sweet is THAT! I’m a punishment, whatever that means! Punish me more, whoever god you are! Teeheeheee…
Orfée’s middling got me back YET again to me making kissing sounds and giggling like a little girl… It is starting to be humiliating I’ll tell you that! Especially when our nemesis became invisible and I was waving my hands around in the corridor trying to prevent her from escaping… raging erection included…
But we’re now back at the Academy, with gold for our troubles! Time to spend it all in awesome trinkets!