Campaign of the Month: November 2018

The Red Hand

Samir's Adventure log - Part 5 (the missed adventure through no fault of his own)

The Tooth and Hookah has a festive atmosphere tonight. The usual suspects from last night are all present in the common room.

As I scan the crowd my eyes meet Marro’s, that funny Halfling leader who likes dogs. We nod at each other briefly, but his welcoming smile (and the numerous beer tankards at his table) is as clear an invitation as any to join him. I leave my team of scribes to their spell writing and saunter off to the Halflings’ table with Hasdrubal in tow, ready for another night of revelry.

Their mood has greatly improved from last night. They are loud, boisterous and already half-drunk. They seem to have a new companion with them, who does not seem to share their high spirits. Maybe it’s the dog collar around his neck that puts him in a bad mood? Or maybe it’s the chain attaching his collar to the biggest Katapeshi fighting dog I ever saw. Khaffit is his new name, which is Whadian for “Idiot Man”. An improvement from his previous name I say. Dha-No… what a stupid sounding name! Ha!

**

As Hasdy and I take our seats we immediately start chugging beers left and right, while we swap stories of our day. We are really having a great time! So much so that I use my talents with comedy to tell the story of the day, while Hasdrubal interjects quips of his own, each claims getting more and more outlandish, testing the limits of my imagination (bastard!).

“Hey Samir, tell them about that bolt you took to the gonads while reloading!”

“How about when we saw that skeleton with a wooden phallus attached to its forehead!”

(I need to thank Hasdy for backing my stories each time, with a shit-eating grin no less!)

Khaffit’s eyes grow darker as I describe the prank I pulled against the thugs ambushing us, making them scatter in fear of the illusion. I use all my talents of comedy while I loudly question the intelligence of whoever hired a bunch of cretins such as them. When I quickly look at Hasdrubal, he discreetly nods at me. Our suspicion is confirmed: Mavrikos’ shouting opponent from the previous night is boiling in anger the more I insult the idiot who did the hiring. Hasdy scanned the crowd for such reactions and our fishing expedition was fructuous. We’ll have some confronting to do in the future it seems.

**

Hasdrubal and I start a friendly game of cards with our friends. Wagers are to be in beers. Haflings should be disadvantaged with this currency, right? Maybe when they’re good and drunk I can change the ante to cash. Eaaaasy pickings!

**

Holy crap can those Halflings hold their booze!

**

Hasdrubal ij jusht a quitter! Something about being ready to not die tomorrow! Hahahaha What ish he talking about? We advenchure things, we don’t die things! Hahahah Hasdrubal ish too drunk to make sense! Time to try this dwarven mushroom ale I’ve heard soooo much about.

**

(blank)

**

Svercy, Marro’s lieutenant, ish talking about a crack in the wall of the Necropolis he shaw earlier today.

Hey. Hey… HEY! I got an idea! Why not <hic> why not try to find treasures inside the necrophiliac when no one’s around, eh! EH!? More tr <hic> more treashure when no one’s there, right? RIGHT?

**

Marro sheems unconvinced, that scaredy cat. Shomething about <hic> about guardjs and losing our heads. I never lost mine before, what is he talking about?

**

I found the perfect sholution! They can’t have us lose our heads if they don’t know who we are, right? RIGHT?! Ya that’sh right! Problem sholved! My friends app <hic> approve! We going to get rish tonight!

**

(blank)

**

No one will recogniz us! We’ll all pretty ladies in dresh now! Hahahahaha! Even the dogs! Khaffit is crying now, muttering about a suit-size mishion or something? Bah! I calmly reassure him and I give him one of my mighty ring of fake magic, telling him the wearer is invishible when he wears it. Just a caveat though, doesn’t work with clothes! The gang plays along when he slips the ring on and when he get’s naked. We pranked him good hahahahaha!

**

(blank)

**

We’re inside! Thish looksh like a great spot to explore! We let Naked Khaffit scout ahead. He opens the door and whaddaya know, another TARP! Another <hic> haunting with a high-pitched, shrill voice screaming about a women’s bash houshe or something with calling guards? That’s not scary mummy threats! We quickly flee the sheen though, giggling. There’sh bound to be treasure with no trap in this necropolish, right?

**

(blank)

**

Sure are lotch of ghoulz walking the streets, but they’re all <hic> all< hic> shcared shitless of our lady dogs, ‘cause they just give us a wide berth, look at us funny and continue on their ghoulish way to eat adventurers, but not ush! Hahahahaha!
We’re the greatestsh adventuring party in the world!

**

We encounter our firsht mummy in thish alley we’re explorin’. It’sh lying on the alley floor, shnoring.

That’s a pa <hic> pathetic mummy! Doesn’t even have wrappings. Fiendlu hash wrappings with him. Hahahah that guy has everything! We gonna level-up that mummy real good so it’sh gonna become <hic> a worthy <hic> opponent. Teeheehee

**

(blank)

**

Apparently the mummy wash too formidable for ush, or so Khaffit sayz. It woke up angry and gave ush sickness, because I vomited on it or shomething?

**

(blank)

**

Why am I covered in magic powder and why do I want to eat bread?

**

(blank)

**

I found magic rings! I’m a powerful wizard now! Fear me!

**

(blank)

**

Oh no. Guards are looking at ush. They sure are courageous to be on doody in the necropolish. They can’t catch us or they’ll make us forget where our heads will be!
I calm everyone and whisper to them TO ACT COOL; I’LL TAKE CARE OF THE GUARDJS!

**

It worked! They believed we were lost damsels in the necropisslist! They offered to escort us to our inn. I think they’re in love with me hehehehe.

**

(blank)

**

That’s not our inn! That’sh a guards’ inn! Bah! They shay it’s a free stay tonight. How can they make money when it’s free? Won’t they go out of business or shomthing?

**

(blank)

**

Ow. My head. Where the hell am I? Oh. City’s dungeons.

**

Why am I dressed like a woman?
Why am I covered in flour?
Why do I have screw bolts on all my fingers?

**

Well, I’m missing adventuring injuries this morning. Damnit.

**

Nasah’s here to get me out! Yay! Time to go back to the Tooth and Hookah for a quick study and rejoin our group, if they’re still alive after a half day without yours truly.

Comments

Interpretative dancing? I’ll blame that one on dwarven ale.

While I’m totally down if people want to include Hasdrubal in their logs doing things that happened between games (I encourage it!), I’d like to see the script before hand. I prefer to play my Hasdy a bit straight. :)

 

Log altered to reflect the reality of what truly transpired that night, with apologies to Hasdrubal for getting carried away, something Samir does… rarely! ;o)

 

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