The Red Hand

Samir's Adventure Log - Dream On! - Part 7: Final Chapter

So here we are, at the end of our quest. We’ve defeated our foes, yet one remains: a big-ass blue dragon…
So, with our spells depleted and our wand of cure booboos nearly spent, we look towards the steps with juuuust a little hint of apprehension showing on our faces.
Here goes…

“Guys! Guys!”

Huh? Oh, it’s that hare king fellow that won’t stop annoying people with his nonsense and endless talking. How annoying is that?
So from what I can make out of his ramblings, he’s grateful for helping him find his way into the castle and gives us magic carrots, eats one, Screams something and charges up the stairs.

Huh….

Doesn’t take long to hear a ZAP! though. Oh yeah, and we hear a piece of metal tumbling down the stone stairs. It’s the little bastard’s…. bastard sword
Gulp. Thank the gods we can rely on Hasdrubal’s stalwart stoicism in the face of such a horrible task ahead of us


For once the scribes don’t argue with each other and they start to eat the carrot. Even Rhea! No fear whatsoever that the carrot simply gives you a stupid amount of courage and will kill all of us! Nope! Nothing! I’m starting to think the scribes only argue among themselves when the solution is evident or too easy…


Turns out the carrot eases our worries… and replenishes our spells! Somebody up there must like us! I like our chances now!
Let’s DO THIS!


We cast a few spells in preparation to help us in the coming encounter. Some blessings, prayers, speed… stuff like that. I personally chose to fly, along with Hasdy. So off we go!


We arrive to this big library, filled shelves, tables and high backed chairs facing a fireplace. Sitting in one of them is a human, or so we think. We can see only his hand, holding a glass of brandy.
A booming voice beckons us to come sit with him and talk. Orfée being Orfée, she sits by the man and starts negotiating the release of the artifact we came for, which can be seen hanging by a pedestal close by. The others have mixed reactions.
Hasdrubal seems pissed that by talking instead of hurting, our spells are slowly being expended (damn him and that common sense of his!).
Rhea follows Orfée’s lead.
Nasah slowly places himself to have a good shot with the deadly arrows of his.
Yours truly nonchalantly flies over to the artifact and makes to lean my arm on it, but a violent shout from the “man” stops me from touching that piece of rock.
…and Mavrikos who is sure that we are actually talking to an illusion (by loudly proclaiming his suspicions of his… in front of said “illusion”) and decides to lightly… poke him with his polearm. Nothing violent or anything, just a liiiight prodding of the (possible) illusion with the pointy end. Y’know, what we usually do in polite society

For a reason that to this day escapes me, the dragon somehow felt threatened and decided to end the illusion (ha! One point for Mav!) and attacks us! The galls, good Sir! The temerity! Ha!


Ok so the fight is on! The dragon starts the fight with a breath weapon of lightning and happens to select Mavrikos (what a coincidence!), of all people! Good news though, as Mav survived the jolt and smashes into the dragon with his polearm, inflicting pain to the blue bastard while Hasdrubal moves within striking distance. Nasah peppers it with his arrows and even Rhea is able to confuse the wyrm with her never-ending supply of spells. The fight is doing great, but we’re not out of the woods yet!


Me? What did I do? Well… it didn’t start too well for me, for I flew within spell distance and prepared myself to blind the creature with a well-placed mudball spell… only to remember that dragons’ eyes aren’t the only thing they rely on to strike at their foes.
What am I doing? I…
Oh shit! I was right there! The dragon SHOUTED when I was about to touch Baba Gava’s pleasure bead! He clearly didn’t want me to touch it! And I, like a silly, well-behaved CHILD, did as he was told! What the hell is wrong with me??? Thank the gods my conscience (who suspiciously sounded like Hasdrubal’s voice coming in through our telepathy link we had) hit me in the face at that point! Samir was back, with all of his quick wit back in his noggin’! Phew!


So I flew back to the orb and before I grabbed it, a moment of clarity hit me in the face like a ton of bricks.
“Maybe that thing’s dangerous”, I told myself. Yeah, that’s right. ME! I said that!
So guess who activated his ring of undeadism before touching that baby? THIS GUY!


As soon as I grabbed the rock, something happened. The first thing I felt was an immense sense of peace washing over me. It basically felt like I always do first thing in the morning actually, so it did not felt weird to me, even though I knew it came from the rock. When I telepathically told the scribes that I held the artefact and we could now retreat / run away, nobody answered me. How rude! They always talk! ALWAYS! It never ends! What in the hells is going on?!


Oh… I think I know why they’re not answering. It might have a correlation with the total absence of any combat noise I’m now erm… not hearing.
Yep, found the problem. It seems the plane is experiencing a lack of time flow at the present moment. And I seem to be immune to it somehow. Hmmm… quite the mystery!

Well, I guess time will resume its regularly scheduled flow. Any moment now? Aaaannnnnyyy moment…? No? Huh…


Wait…. Oh! I’m holding the thing that stops time! Maybe if I stopped touching that thing time would resume?
What am I doing?! I can actually HELP the group while time has paused! Let’s DO THIS!


First things first. The dragon is there, attempting to bite Mavrikos’ head off (even confused, it’s still pissed off at the poking I’d wager). Let’s pepper that bastard with snowballs. I’ve always dreamed of an overkill… Now how many charges have I left in my wand again? Something like 48? Hmmm… let’s go with 47 charges, “just in case”. Here. We. Go!


Ok, as soon as I trigger my wand, a huge snowball appears in the air, and just… stand there! What the…?
Oh… OH! Does that mean when time resumes the spell will speed towards the dragon? Oh, the scribes will have one HELL of a show coming their way! Hahahahahaha!!!


Ok, I’ve angled the snowballs to literally bury the dragon in icy goodness when the time will start back up. It’s a sure kill, that’s for sure!
Now what? Hmmm, Mavrikos might get crushed under the dragon if it falls towards him. I’m gonna have to move him out of harm’s way.


So uh (clears throat), I discovered that I can modify the posture of my scribes if I wanted to, so uh… I MIGHT have done some things to amuse myself for a little while. Yeah…
Oh, with all that work, I really should take a break, as all that stress is doing something to my innards. Oh, hey! That dragon’s mouth is opened… Teehee.


Alright, I think I’m about done with my spare time on this plane… Wait. Did I study the arcane mark cantrip today? Oh yes. Yes I did!! Oh, Hasssddyyyyyy…!!!


(Sigh), I think I’m about done here. So I’ll just go down the stairs and resume time, just in case the dragon survives (maybe it’s immune to magic and/or snow? I really should start listening in class…) and wants to chase the artefact thief. My not being here might make the (confused) dragon… confused (yeah, not too smart thinking, but it’s not like whoever reads this would be surprised at this point in time, yeah?).

So, here goes…


WOOSH! I can hear an avalanche upstairs and confused cries from the scribes. I should be proud of myself for so easily defeating a dragon, but something occurred that put a break on my typical enthusiasm. I seem to have aged QUITE a bit when time resumed. A quick estimate would be around one year for each ten seconds lived while time has stopped.
Thank the gods that I activated my ring! Otherwise I’d be dead for sure! Not being dead is awesome! Watching your skin going PUFF! in a cloud of dust though? Not so awesome. I can’t even talk! I’m a skeleton now! I’m being kept “alive” by the power of my ring. I have but about half a day before the ring starts to take its toll on my body and slowly drains me of my soul, which is not good.

I telepathically call out to the scribes so as not to surprise them when I come back up and after a brief explaining (and waving aside questions of weird body tastes some of them are having in their mouths), we quickly pocket the dragon’s hoard.
We found some cool stuff, but Rhea is the lucky one on this: she found a spellbook of dyslexia! Meaning she can create ad hoc spells by changing one letter in the spell’s name!!!
That is SO AWESOME!
Think of the possibilities!!
For starters, I’ve always wanted to be able to summon an Air GEEZER! “Get off my lawn!!!” Ha!
I could also Alter my WANDS to be even more powerful!
I could torment Mavrikos with visits from his self-righteous ancestors (Ancestral GUILT. Get it?) during the night (has his application for a room transfer away from mine been accepted yet?).
I could have an army of animated housing deeds, willing to wrap themselves around my enemies’ faces! Or it could be poisonous lead? How about rapists? Just think of the possibilities! Argh!!!
Wouldn’t it be cool to have your own ale walk up to your mouth instead of drinking it using your limbs?
I could lick Hasdy’s face in his sleep and atone myself by offering him a night out in town and drown him in ass
I could become beer and revert back into Samir once I’m ingested by an enemy!
Why not transform ennemies into bubbles?!!
Need an answer? We could easily locate a sage to answer our questions.
I could activate my ring and see if it’s possible to breathe in a mist of stones
How about screwing with Theofyr’s potions with well-placed shit projectiles???

My head is spinning at the possibilities!!! It’s… I…
Stupid Rhea and her trustworthiness…
Hey! I’m sure Rhea wouldn’t mind lending me the book when we’re in-between adventures, right? And I can now craft wands!

(evil laugh)


Alright, so we’re back in the real world, said goodbye to Baba Gava, and we’re off to the Academy!


No time to fool around for me! I throw the Delithium Matrix to Kholm Meany as we arrive (no more debts for Samir!) and I drag Hasdrubal with me to be my translator, as I need to speak to people in order to exploit my present condition asap. (Nasah was good enough to offer me to cast the spell Restore Corpse on me, which would solve a few of my problems, but that’s a plan B for me, as it is but a bland and boring solution.

So our first stop would be to see Mistress Althea and see what she can do with my exposed bones. I’ve read about transmuters being able to change bones into steel, but only on corpses, which I’m not. I wonder how many bones I can remove from myself before undead-dying in the process…
Next stop would probably be to see Ogma and ask her about necrografts
Well, that’s it for my adventures so far! Can’t wait to get a little break from people wanting to kill us. I have BIG PLANS ahead of me. Hope Hasdy has spare time for me right about now. Ha!

Comments

Ha! I like how you worked in there the acquisition of the Hasdy’s arcane mark graffiti first mentioned in the Pithik post. :)

I think we should preamptively destroy the ‘spellbook of dyslexia’ before Samir destroy the fabric of space and time via shenanigans. :P

 

Thanks for reading & commenting, as always! :)

For the spellbook, I’ve barely scratched the surface of the possibilities and shall invest on a thorough reading of the spell list in the coming weeks. Jesus shall weep!

 

Shit, I’m Jesus in that comment, aren’t I.

 
SebDano

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