The Red Hand

Samira's adventure log - The fireball festival.

After a good night of killing and nearly getting killed, we come back to the priests’ headquarters to report on the Silver Chain Gang’s annihilation. Yay Mewling Quims!

**

As we walk the streets, we see that the richest merchants, those able to hire guards, are starting to re-open, which is a good thing for the city, I guess. The prices though… WOW! They’ve really skyrocketed since their closures. Guess I’ll remain in this body for a while. Wonder if my manhood will start bleeding eventually… hmmm, food for thought.

**

The priestess is happy to have her old friend alive and (somewhat) well. She’s tired as hell though, but our dear Orfée is ready for help with a handy spell, as usual. We are tasked to investigate a section of town where demon dogs or some such are prowling the night, hunting the undead, but with complete disregard for innocent lives, which is an issue for Orfée and Nasah for some reason.

**

Welp, we found some! They spotted a bunch of zombies trying to eat a woman in the streets and jumped in the fray, seriously hurting the poor girl in the process. Boy are these beasts FAST and nasty looking!
I had an idea then, to become the bait for these beasts and removing them from the vicinity of the girl so that Orfée could heal her in peace. So I ran to the corner of the street and activated my ring-of-being-dead, waving my hand around to get their attention. No movement was needed, as they smelled my dead-status the moment I activated my precious, and pounced in my direction right away. I barely had time to deactivate it and make myself small in a perfume shop’s doorway before they were ten feet from me, confused at having lost their scents. They then howled their rage and sprinted into the night.
Samir saves the night! Orfée was able to save the girl and when we tried to follow the tracks of the demon doggies, we suddenly lost them, as if they vanished into thin air! How was that possible?! Oh yeah, magic. I always forget about magic.

**

On our way back, we came to a gruesome scene, where we found recently dead corpses, all missing an eye, the blood trails leading to a district court building. I snuck up on the scene and saw what I can only describe as a skeleton bailiff throw out yet another victim outside and disappear inside. I decided to take a peek inside and saw that the courtroom was empty save from 4 bailiffs and some bone judge wearing the funniest-looking hat I ever saw. Seriously, the hat was funny looking!
Aaaanyway, I didn’t lose time and threw a fireball right smack in the middle of the courtroom, hitting three of the four foes all at once. The bailiff right next to the judge was destroyed right there, exploding in the process and hurting the judge even more. Before they could react, I sent another one in the bunch while my companions rushed forward in panic at my liberal use of fireballs. We made quick work of the survivors and that was that. Turns out the funny judge hat was a magical circlet that helped with the convincing of people, which I took as my share of the loot. A coat of honey on my already golden tongue? Who will resist me now I wonder? Ha!

**

So we’re back to the Tooth and Hookah to take a well-deserved rest. The keeper brings forth a box filled with gifts from the Jackal Tavern where we saved some ass the night before if memory serves. How nice of them! So the party get ready to leave for bed, but I had a secret mission to go to before I could join them. Teehee.

**

In the morning, we woke up yawning and ready for breakfast, only to be interrupted by the love-struck armorer with a gift for Rhea, a nice-looking Mithral Shirt. He showed the whole party gratitude with a promise of cutting a quarter of his wares’ price should we ever need anything. A generous gift indeed. I really should try that caring thing with others one day… We didn’t have time to rejoice though, as a messenger barged in the inn, huffing and puffing, with urgency in his eyes. We were required to make haste to see the priestess for an emergency. Sigh. I hate skipping breakfast.

**

When we arrive and the priestess’ headquarters, we came upon what appears to be a lover’s spat. You know, screaming, arguing, the whole thing.
The priestess was in an argument with the head of the zealots’ soldiers about the use of the demon dogs. So the bastard was responsible for the killing of the undead, who were killing innocent lives at a greater rate than the dogs, which is bad for some reason. Orfée tried to convince Grumpy to stop employing the beasts, without success. I must’ve missed some part of the conversation, ‘cause we ended up accepting a duel with a weird-looking skull bird monster angel thing and two of those demon dogs.

**

We won! By the skin of our balls. No idea how we achieved it, but we did! Grumpy had to agree to stop sending summoned monsters against the undead and instead sacrifice human lives in the form of his soldiers, which is great news, or so Nasah and Orfée tells me.

**

The priestess provides us clues to find the source of the undead-waking pulses. We can either try to infiltrate a cult of weird creatures living in the Necropolis, or we can select to locate magic compasses and try to triangulate the whereabouts of the source. We selected to go with the compasses, chose from a list of options (we chose the observatory) and off we go, through the secret tunnels we found while killing the Silver Chain Gang.

**

We arrived at the observatory without any nasty surprises, which is a nice change for once. While the scribes were busy tinkering with the compass, who was acting crazy for some reason, I was busy looking around, and what do you know! I’ve found a secret trapdoor! After some searching, guessing and reciting all the prayers found on the walls, Nasah was able to open it with the proper prayer. We suspect that we got lucky for once! We’ve stumbled upon the source on the first try! Awesome!

**

Dang, we were followed by those damn cultists, so let’s fight!

**

We won! We even made a prisoner in the leader of the enemies, some bard lady that Orfée charmed into confiding details about their intentions. Time for some ‘splorin’!

**

We got into a room with a shit ton of zombies. Luckily, most were chained to the wall. Did I mention I LOVE fireballs?

**

Another relatively win! (Boy, was it last week that we were struggling against your run-of-the-mill vipers? Wow!)

**

Ok, I entered a room and came face to face with a roomful of skeleton warriors and the caged head of the angriest grandma I ever saw in my life. I never saw so much hatred emanating from someone in my life, and I know Theofyr!
I got instantly blinded by the sight, so I’ve opted to use my port key and run back into the academy to get rid of my lack of seeing stuff. That is all I know now. I hope my friends fared better without my help!

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An unfortunate meeting at night

Soritsu shuffled his feet, nervous. The minor city official kept glancing left and right, weary of the undead that was still plaguing the city, particularly during the night.

He was starting to regret accepting this meeting, especially considering the chosen location and the fact that angry corpses, hungry for the living, were still prowling the night.

However, since the undead poured out of the Necropolis to wreak havoc a few nights ago, the city officials worked Soritsu and his criers to the bone, and there was no extra pay involved. His staff were dead tired and frightened for themselves and their loved ones, unable to protect them with their presence. So when came the opportunity to make extra gold came under the guise to the most mesmerizing woman Soritsu ever saw, he jumped on it like a dwarf seeing a copper piece laying on the streets.

She was late, of course. Soritsu shook his head, smiling. “Women” he sighed dreamily. His ungentlemanly thoughts were eventually interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching the alley. He looked up, seeing a familiar shadow with womanly curves. How a blurry shadow could still keep the generous attributes of this woman, he wondered as he quickly passed his hand through his hair, making sure he was presentable.

“My apologies for being late to our meeting, my good man! I was detained. You know, lady stuff and whatnot” the lady cheerily intoned by way of introduction.

“No problem, my fair lady! After all, a woman needs time to prep-“.

Soritsu was interrupted by the sight before him. His jaw simply dropped, unable to form words and finish his sentence, which would’ve been untrue anyway. Before him stood the same lustrous creature he was fantasising about since his first glimpse of her, sporting the same signature grin that never seemed to leave her face. However, her hair was singed at places and her clothes were ripped in numerous places, brown blood still caking the borders of each holes.

“No problem, my good man! Now, on to business!” she grinned, nonchalantly tossing him a bag of coins and a parchment attached to it. Soritsu caught the purse in time, although not gracefully, still recovering from the sight before him.

“My lady”, he stammered. “What happened to you?” he asked.

“Huh? Oh, that! Girl stuff, like I told you. Nothing a little STICK and two BALLS can’t fix, eh? EH!?” she laughed, poking him in the ribs, mischievous grin still in place.

Soritsu swallowed, confused and a little uncomfortable by her clumsy, yet un-lady like use of puns.

“All the money’s there. Forty gold pieces, like we agreed upon”

“B-but my lady, we agreed for fifty gold pieces…”

“Oh? Damnit, what a shame”. She pouted, like a little girl, even turning her index finger at the corner of her mouth, a caricature. “Oh! I got an idea!” she exclaimed, eyebrows moving up and down repeatedly. “How ‘bout a feel of my boobs! Eh? EH!? They’re awesome! Look!” She brought the remnants of her blouse down, her breasts exploding outside their (formerly) tight confines.

Soritsu was too shocked to react. He was simply gaping, unable to form a coherent thought.
“Your eyes tell me it’s a deal! FINALLY! I made these bad boys specifically for this and the scribes don’t even wanna touch ‘em!” she keeps babbling, casually taking both of the poor sod’s hands and bringing them to her bosom. That is where Soritsu lost it. Such a gorgeous, immodest woman! “Yes. Yes! We have a deal, my fair lady! The news will be told in all the city’s squares and the surrounding villages! The whole world will know of Hasdrubal’s protection and patronage of Whadi!”

“And don’t forget his merry band, the Mewling Quims, yes?” she casually said, grinning in understanding at Soritsu’s star-struck gaze.

“Yes! Absolutely! I remember! The announcement must have at least ten mentions of the Mewling Quims, with the proper inflection when pronouncing them! I remember, my lady!” he ranted, feverish.

He couldn’t control himself by that point, unable to stop his hand from felling up between her legs.

Something stopped him short, shock replacing lust in a matter of seconds.

“That wasn’t part of the deal, big boy” came a reply, the deep voice of a man coming from her mouth, still grinning.

“Wh-what is…”

“Oh that? That would be a penis, a phallus, a schlong, a sausage”

Soritsu stood there, in shock, unable to move. “W-What are you?” he finally gasped.

“Oh? Me?” she asked, lightly? Her voice turned deeper still, theatre-like, her grin vanished.
“I’m a corpse eater, condemned to eat the souls of oath breakers and take some parts their appearance, forever changing, never being whole. I hunger for broken promises, Soritsu… will I become a part of you?” she intoned with a dark voice.

“I-I.. W-w…”

“Or not” she casually shrugged, grin returning. “Maybe I’m just fucking with you with magic. Or hell, maybe I’m just a dude in drag, or a chick with a pole underneath her pants? Who knows, really? Hey, wanna cup a feel of corpse boobs? ‘Cause I can totally do this for you, too! It’s weird at first, but you get used to it, believe me!”

Soritsu kept staring, paralysed from a mixture of abject terror and confusion at the absurdity of what his ears were processing.

“Well alright, then! When you’re ready to release my junk from your grip, we’ll go on our merry way, yes?”

Soritsu quickly released her manhood, shocked he was still holding it in the first place. “Y-yes, my… lady?”

“Sure! Why not? Off you go, Soritsu. I hope to hear the good word by tomorrow, or I’ll be hungry” she squeaked the last word girlishly, still grinning.

Soritsu did not need further invitation. He turned to run away, but was grabbed by the shoulder. Turning slowly, gulping, he stared at her grinning face once again.

“Say, you wouldn’t know someone I could talk with to commission a life-sized statue of a group of people, no?”

“Wh-what?” he stammered.

“Oh! Or how about a fountain sculpted to have Whadi’s hero, with me, Orfée and Rhea, submissively grabbing his legs, y’know, like those cheap romantic-action book covers teenagers like to buy?”

Soritsu’s shoulders sagged, resigned.

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Orphée promenade

Well, last night and today were interesting days. After the auction we helped the city with undead issues. This as not as fun as it could have been but the gate of the necropolis are secured for now.

The next day finds us helping and trying to investigate the disappearance of one of the priesthood. Well our friend Rhea was tracking this one as he had suspicious behavior at the auction. This helped us track him faster. We did get to silver chain hideout, anyway what we think it to be. I hope we will find clues to the whereabouts of our higher mission.

Inside, we fought some guard thugs but one dangerous and were nasty thing. I though I had seen many bad things and experience some more with the vargouile, but this internal organ undead-construct of I don’t know what was one nasty thing and very strong at it. I never though some people evil enough to create such abomination… Well now this newer nightmare is pass and I will add it to my list of experience for my life…

Continuing exploring we found a lab where poison and alchemical mixed were done. To what end we don’t know but this was yet again nasty stuff – is the world that bad? I hope not but I have yet to find true evidence of goodness and compassion in the areas we explore.

Finding the final place where the leader of this organization is located, we enter and a fight erupted almost immediately. The result is as expected, blood and killing everywhere. I am sad that we could not resolve this other ways. I must I am partly responsible and got carried away by the group where they prepared for a fight I should have stepped up and insist on a parlay of some kind. We are looking for information after all and now the only way we have that I can think of to have some information is to dabble with a corpse – how barbaric… I think we missed a preciously rare opportunity to capture the local head of this organization and get good facts on how and where the item we are looking for maybe located…

Well, we are now going back to the inn, celebrating a victory that does not feel like one to me and see how we can figure things out…

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Samira's Adventure Log - Part 2
in which curiosity nearly killed the cat (or is it pussy now?)

We’ve survived the night, thanks in part to my usefulness! Mine! Like, Samir’s! Who’da thunk it?!

Of course, this helps in boosting my already too good mood to dangerous levels. As our strategists confer on our next move, I softly whistle a tune and make a song on the fly, to the tune of that old sect anthem, the StoneCutters.

♫ Who discuss things endlessly
Who gets beaten thoroughly
We doooooo. We dooooo
♫ Who see death’s light everyday
Who kiss monsters all the way
We dooooo. We doooo!
♫ Who fireballs the easy foes – Who acid splashes.. THE PROS?
We doooooo we dooooo!
♫ The Mewling Quims! Yay Us!

The reaction I get from Hasdrubal at the mention of our endearing name is something I shall exploit in the near future at any chance we have. Maybe announcing him to strangers as our leader would be a nice start. I wonder how much it costs to hire town cryers…

Aaaanyway, we end up going to the Priests’ HQ to ask if they needed a little help and they asked us to go help guard a Necropolis Door. I’ll add “Guard” to my list of accomplishment I guess.

As we make our way to our target, we encounter a bunch of young looters, busy stealing the goods from an old geezer’s tea shop. I steel myself for a loooong talking session from the scribes, but I’m pleasantly surprised by the sudden blood lust exhibited by our group and join in the fun of bullying small bullies. The fight is a piece of cake, and after a scolding by Ofrée and Rhea, things return to normal and we’re off to our designated door guarding area.

When we arrive, we are met with a priestess who wants us to add “errand boy” to our résumés, as she wants us to fetch ingredients needed to perform a binding spell on the door. As she is writing a list of ingredients, some type of shadow thingy comes through the door and set its sight on the oblivious god bootlicker. Rhea, who never seems to be surprised by anything (challenge accepted!), see it before anyone else and interposes herself between the sycophant and the Shadow. Quite brave, coming from someone who I secretly watched struggle filling her cup with a water pitcher who was full during our first night of celebration. The gamble worked though, as we were able to kill it, with yours truly performing the killing blow no less!

The immediate threat being neutralized, we confer and there is a debate between doing what we were asked to do and sending me above the wall to rain down fireballs into the midst of the undead pushing against the door. We settle on one of my favorite philosophy of “Why not BOTH?!” and I fire one from the murder hole before going back to do our errand.

After being good boys, the high priest mentions the disappearance of one of their senior members who happened to be at the auction a few hours previous. Rhea seems to know everything already about the old fool, so she shares the information she has. Damn know-it-all; she better not know what I’m about to test with that newly acquired appendage I got for myself tonight…

So we’re to go into a side of town called “The Veins” where Rhea pinpointed the location of the damsir-in-distress. Arriving there, we are met with 2 city guards who tries to make us believe that they have the situation under control and that we should leave.

I use my magic to become besties with one of them as Rhea makes the other one go night-night with one of her 3000 scrolls of sleep spells (methinks we got ourselves a chronic insomniac in our midst).
We are able to pry information out of my new friend about a recent change of management in the Silver Chain Gang in the form of mask-wearing duderinos or some such. Anyway, off we go to apprehend (ha!) the baddies!

Of course, the first thing we do is fall into a pit. Well, Hasdrubal did (Yay-not-me!), but he’s a tough nut to crack (unless you sing “Mewling Quims” nonstop during the whole night from the room next to him) and comes back out, using a rope three of us struggle to hold on to.

Next we come into a storeroom and while we explore the place, Nasah gets attacked by animated internal organs. And he gets hit HARD! We nearly lost the poor sob. In this fight. Orfée save his life, as usual and we are barely able to kill the damn thing. A special thanks to Rhea for summoning cannon fodder after cannon fodder to split the atrocity’s attention. I had a stroke of genius yet again in this fight when I activated my cursed ring and became a corpse, thus making me invisible to the creature.

We then opened a door that led down stairs to a canal used for deliveries. Our squabbling alerted 2 thugs and a hyena who asked us what we were doing there. Before I could golden tongue them à la Samir, Orfée came forward and tried her best to remove their suspicions to little effect. The blood, gore and Nasah’s litres of vomit on our clothes didn’t help at all either, but a fireball into the room downstairs quickly killed one of the villain and we did short work on the hyena. The other one jumped in the water and escaped.

We then came into an alchemy laboratory where an idiot killed himself with a bad experiment or something. The poison was still in the air and got hold of Orfée’s senses. She started bashing her head against a wall and had to be physically removed from the room. Since I was still a corpse, I had no such problems, so I remained in the room and looted the place good. We found a note on the corpse about something for someone to do things before something did a thing to something… bah! I gave the list to the smartest cookies in the bunch and let them figure things out. Thinking is boooring… and dangerous when I do it.

So we liberated the naked abductee and burst into the boss’ room with Rhea’s summoned pet at the ready. Before the boss could yell what the hell was going on, Rhea created a pit under him, which he avoided falling into. BUT, Hasdrubal bull-rushed him so good into it that he also fell in with our foe, along with Rhea’s pet… and another one she was summoning. The three of them were having a field day on the poor bastard, so while I kept shrieking encouragements to Hasdrubal (Go Hasdy! Brake his legs! Make the Quim Mew! Mew Mew, Asshole! Die!), I went in search of treasure… and never saw two bodyguards exiting a secret door and attack me in unison. I was a dead man for sure! But YET AGAIN, Orfée saved my sorry ass, which I will be eternally grateful for until I die.. and she bring me back to life again I guess.

Damn curiosity of mine will be the death of me, but I just can’t help it! I can’t wait to master illusions more and be able to be unable to see most of the time! Ohh the pranks I’ll pull. For instance, did you know that the “Sculpt Corpe” spell can make me either smaller OR bigger? Since I can do it multiple times in a row, guess who’ll take a dragon-sized shit on our group’s stronghold during the night one day? THIS GUY!!!! Ha!

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Journal of Rhea Amelia Namtab - Part 6
Game 8 - The Kiln in the Veins

– Previous Entry -

We are accept to rendez-vous with the priestess overseeing one of the gates leading to the necropolis, and to report back on her status. On the way, we encounter a few looters taking advantage of the situation. A few Sleep spells and a stern talking to and the wannabe criminals turn into – almost – model citizens.

Arriving at the gate, we learn that they are holding, despite being assaulted by scores of zombies. However, the priestess recommends we retrieve spell components for her to add an additional ward, just in case. While she is transcribing her orders, which we will take back to the main temple, an intangible figure phases through the massive door and heads towards the unsuspecting priestess. I interpose my body, a poor decision. The thing thrives on physical strength, of which I have very little. Lesson learned, I wrongly tell myself, and step away to let my cadre of compadres ample room to close in on the phantom menace.

The spectre proves itself to be both manoeuvrable and resilient. It moves around the ineffective Hasdrubal, and lays a mighty blow on the priestess. Magical arrows loosed from Nasah’s bow and a Disrupt Undead spell from the fearless Samira (he has yet to turn back to his less caricatural masculine form) free the ghostly presence from this mortal coil. A quick return trip to the main temple and back, and we proceed with the ritual which will make the gate imperceptible to undead eyes.

The next morning, after a quick breakfast, we set out again. The city seems less threatening with the sunlight above, and a full head of spells at my disposal. Our path will soon bring us to the Veins, a map to what we assume will be the Silver Chain’s headquarters was tattooed on the wagon masters’s arm. But first, we report to the priests coordinating the city’s fight against the undead scourge.

At the temple, we learn that the fellow I had tagged with my Compact of Seeing is a leading expert on the secret life of the undead, and our best bet in getting a handle on the problem currently plaguing the city. His presence in the Veins is also confirmed by the second-hand report of his invisible Nosoi friend, Quasim.

On the way to the Veins, we come across yet another pack of zombies, quickly dispatched by Fireball and a summoned celestial dog, my first summoned creature to survive a full combat, if memory serves. The event is celebrated with a thorough head scratching, until the magnificent beast pops out of this plane of existence.

At the Kiln, we make it pass the guards through guile. I can’t believe it worked. My best guess: once the effects of our Charm Person and Sleep spells had subsided, the hapless guards must have thought that whoever comes out on top, their bosses or ourselves, it would now be a wise move to skip town.

We enter a dark corridor. Hasdrubal falls in a hole. We pull him out. We then look for, and find, a hidden switch, locking the pit’s door in place. Leaving Doxepine, my scorpion familiar, to stand guard behind us, we proceed to dark storage area. We split up to search more effectively. Suddenly, Nasah cries out. He is being attacked by an amorphous collection of internal organs that have decided to unionize, stand up to the man, and externalize.

I made two mistakes in this fight. The first was to be overly conservative with my resources, using lesser spells even though the foe was fierce. I call upon a pack of celestial dogs, only one appears. He is quickly eaten. I call upon yet another dog. He suffers the same fate. I took too long before summoning the mighty celestial wolverine, who literally took a gigantic bite out of our foe. The wolverine last a bit longer, but eventually also falls to the abomination’s relentless attacks. I should have called upon yet another. Instead, I forgot about my earlier promise to myself and headed to the front lines in order to assist Hasdrubal, whom I mistakenly thought was in dire peril. My efforts were for naught and the beast took me down in seconds. Orfée once again saves the day, by preventing the deaths of both Nasah, and myself. I will also take note here of Samir’s ingenious way of using his necromantic ring to become invisible to the creature’s lifesense.

Our exploration leads us to an underground waterway, an odourous alchemist’s lab, and – after reuniting with Doxepine – to a barracks area where we find our priestly friend held at the bottom of a well. I burn through a scoll of Levitate to get him out. We return to him clothing and holy symbol, and prepare to storm the evil cleric’s room. Sorry Orfée, diplomacy is off the table at the moment. It is celestial wolverine time.

No sooner have we entered the room, that I cast Create Pit around the leader’s desk. He jumps to safety, but is tackled back in by Hasdrubal, followed by the wolverine. Tight quarters, and two raging maniacs make short order of our foe.

Meanwhile, a second battle takes place above, and Samira is in the middle of it. A pair of henchpeople burst through a secret door and proceed to give Samira an unscheduled acupuncture treatment. We almost lose him. Nasah, and a summoned lantern archon make quick work of one foe, but the other escapes in the maze of secret tunnels, pursued by the archon.

Taking the bodies with us, we escort our rescued friend back to the temple. It is time for the living to strike back!

Coming back to my senses, I join my companions in exploring the rest of this complex.

– Next Entry -

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Nasah's guide to practical Necromancy - 4
Chapter 1: The Necropolis (Part 4)

Note: Part 2 and 3 are still not written yet….

Undead Control

Spending some time on the field, and especially in Whadi’s necropolis and the city itself gave me opportunities to increase my grasp on general necromantic concepts. This knowledge was enough to give me increased understanding of arcanic formulaes. I was able to consult the school’s library and learn a few more tricks.
This brings me to a side track: Share Spells! When you can share spells, fellow wizards will often be open to share their spells if you share in return. However, be careful who you share with; ultimately you share responsibility in a spell’s use for good or for ill. Spell sharing is a great way to spread the knowledge and in a way proceed to evangelisation of your profound convictions.

Back in the main city, our group decided to put some of the retrieved items for auction. I was excited to assist the auction since I laid my eye on a manuscript detailing ancient techniques of embalming that could be handy in my line of work.

In the middle of the auction, loud noises came in the direction of the main doors, almost like a riot… However, when the doors burst open, about a dozen undeads barged in: Zombies, Ghouls and even crawling hands!! I was flooded with mixed emotions: initial excitement as I encountered my first mob of the living dead and with such diversity, such opportunity to learn!!! Then came the overwhelming sense of duty, some real lives were in danger, lots of the general populace and aristocrats were attending the event and they were the first ones to be attacked but the undeads. Finally, I was drowned by disgust, I came to realize these undeads where unleashed here, this was not a “natural occurrence” or random event! Meaning someone had a perverted ambition to disrupt the event or even target specific individuals. They were using undeads, PEOPLE, against their will to cause harm like a twisted act of necrophilia…

As soon as we started to gain the upper hand on the unruly mob of the decaying, a Mummy appeared from a side-door. I was paralyzed by awe and fear as my companions bravely fought-on. It took me a long time but I finally came about my senses. In the end we were victorious, and the brief sentiment of shame that I felt was quickly replaced by pride as I know we saved countless lives at the auction house.

Tip: If forced to fight ghouls; use ranged spells and frost to slow them down, they carry a curse and can paralyze on the slightest touch. Crawling claws are very nimble and have a tendency to choke you at the throat! This can be very deadly especially if you are paralyzed. If you can, try to shove them in a hole or isolate them in a cage while you focus on bigger threats. Another efficient technique is to make use of the “Control Undead” spell. If successful you may have it attack other undeads and they are generally ignored by them as they will focus on attacking the living. Doing so brings a moral dylemma, am I also guilty of cruelty against undeads?

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The auction night - by Orphée

A full week of rest, study and enjoyment of peace and research. I must say I enjoyed it and wish it lasted longer but our masters have decided otherwise. After meeting with our masters in a secret room, I understood that we missed our main objective which was to retrieve a special item. On the other hand, the politics of the academy is more complex than I thought and more subtle than I wish. But the conversation was around was we missed and how to get another chance at securing it. My understanding of it was simple, our masters would craft some sort of enchantment to send us to the night of the auction for us to have a chance at getting it. After reflection, the night of the auction if 5 days past, this is very powerful magic to send us back in time…

We are now back at the tooth and Hooka, readying ourselves for the auction. I did negotiate many things we wish to sale for a more than reasonable price. I am happy for once my specials skills are useful to the group and hopefully to the academy as well. Well the auction went well I should say until zombies attacked. For some reason they were after a blacksmith that wanted to buy some of his skill knowledge items. We saved his live by killing the zombies, the crawling hands that came after and the mummy that got out of the secured safe where the auction items were. I must say this was a weird evening.

I got worst when we realized that the city was besieged by zombies all over and the poor city guards were overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of zombies, they are everywhere. Well we decided to act and give a hand. We found an empty cart with many zombies that we defeated. But the cat itself was a strange one, one belonging to the silver chain – as far as we can tell. They are a group of corpse smugglers. This sounds like a terrible mistake at this time as the animated zombies are all over the place and some seemed to have been corpses that were being smuggled.
I can say only this: it will be a long night…

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Samira's adventure log
or that time where I should've thought about it some more

Well, we’re back at the Academy from our recent adventure and in need of a much deserved rest.

A rest consisting of getting back into our oh-so-much exciting chores of scrubbing, sweeping, laundry…ing.

Gods I’m BORED! And when I’m bored, I make the gods despair and weep, for I start THINKING.

So I spent all my down time exploring possibilities with my newfound ring, called Cursed Ring of Kren the Arcane, which basically makes me an honorary member of the Corpse Corps when activated. CURSED. Ha! Sounds like a challenge to me!

It started with harmless pranks, of course. It’s outrageous how many security spells rely on heat-sensitive triggers for instance. Spells Theofyr seems to favor, too. So a night ruffling through his personal lab, switching random ingredients from one jar to another helped me get through my first night back at the Academy. The resulting explosions and chaotic side effects cheered me up the following day.

I cranked up my next challenge with sneaking into the Necromancy School’s servants’ quarters and trying to organize a dancing musical for the evening feast, with mixed reviews (I should not have triggered the dancing number when they had plates in their hands. My bad).

But the testament to my greatness, this divine epiphany of pure genius occurred to me on the fifth day of routine hell, when I was sifting through spell scrolls for last-minute shopping. I discovered a “useless” spell called Sculpt Corpse in which the caster could alter the appearance of any corpse to anything imaginable. Permanently! Such a pathetic spell in the hand of any wizard… but not THIS one! I simply had to turn myself into a corpse, perform the spell, and I could do something some wizards spend their WHOLE lives trying to accomplish.

Ohhh the possibilities. I knew that some people drool in their sleep, but I raised the bar for doing such a feat while daydreaming, no less!

My mental masturbation was soon interrupted by a call to a council of the heads of each magic schools in which was had to act like servants and not speak, which did not help me focus on the conversation. I remember some grumbling and some back and forth between the heads and something about divination not being an exact something. You know, the usual exciting scholar speak.
My suicidal fantasies were washed away when I heard something about us going back to Whadi for an auction to locate the trinket that was stolen from under our nose last week. There was also some talk about going two days after we came back, even though a week passed, which seemed to startle my fellow scribes for some reason (Time travelling, in the Greatest Center of Magic in the whole world? Gasp! We need to clutch our pearls and reach for our smelling salts! Quick!).

We were to infiltrate the auction and investigate any lead that could point us to the little thieves. Infiltrate. INFILTRATE! I definitely heard that word at some point in the council! Some might say it was myself repeatedly mumbling it with a stupid grin on my face, but these are irrelevant details for the situation at hand, for we were gonna INFILTRATE somewhere to do something! Yessss!

We made some last minute preparations and were teleported back to the Tooth and Hookah to a surprised innkeeper, ready to rent our rooms to other customers since we left two days ago without a word. Two days. Yay for time travelling! Theofyr’s leg bones should be liquefying (for my second time!) right about now!

I excused myself to our band, saying I had urgent matters to attend to and would not be able to attend the auction tonight. I was perplexed at the collective sigh of relief the scribes made at the news, but chucked it off to my inability to hide a shit-eating grin during the conversation. They probably felt bad for the four non-existent whores I would vomit on… It’s like that joke about Sam and his son, looking out at his land, saying to him. “See that fence, Son? I built it with my own two hands. Do they call me Sam the Fence Builder? Nooooo! See this barn, Son? I built it with my own hands, too! To they call my Sam the Barn Builder? Noooooo! But you fuck ONE goat…” I hope one day not to be Sam in the eyes of my gang one day. But I digress. Time for Samir’s makeover!

I quickly exited the tavern and made my way to the nearest back alley to test this new superpower of mine. I must admit I was too excited to think things through though, for the first thing that popped in my mind was to transform into a lady (nobody would recognize me so I could roam the auction, looking for that bitch who sprayed me with acid last week. My prime suspect in the theft of the trinket last week 3 two days ago). But not just a lady. A GORGEOUS one. One like in the fairy tales… or those in the carvings above the whorehouse doors you see often when having to go through neighbours of ill repute when you erm… get lost on the way to church.

I visualized my new form and opened the scroll to perform my first feat of great magic, but stopped before reading, for an intrusive thought crept up on me… that of having a vagina and having to deal with blood, cramps, and randomly having ten different personalities. No, thank you! So I made the decision to keep my appendage, but to optimize it because, you know, I’m Samir Goldentongue. But I’m proud of myself this time, for I made it only to down to my ankle.

…I should’ve made a point of not making it this long… while flaccid though. More on that later.

Having a good image of my new self firmly in my head, I opened toe scroll and cast the spell. SUCCESS! It worked marvellously!

I had boobs now! BOOBS!!!! I exited the alley into the main street and I stopped by a street vendor to eat something and kill time before the auction. I must admit I was a little too excited at the prospect of having breasts, for I soon started fondling myself right there, to the amazement of the vendor and patrons around. Feeling generous, I invited all of them to touch the merchandise. Even in a woman’s (upper) body, I still couldn’t figure out the big deal of fondling strangers’ breasts. I mean, they’re fun bags! Why not share and make the world a better place! I even got to eat for free! Ha!

Soon after I saw my band of scribes leaving the inn, I quickly went into my room to put on the dress I mysteriously woke up on some nights before when I celebrated with the Haflings gang. I was READY for some infiltratin’!

Of course, I still had fun fondling myself on the way to the auction, but this time I got an erection for my troubles. On the one hand, having a phallus proudly sticking out of your dress 3 feet above your head on a busy street makes for some awkwardness, but I’m an optimist, and quickly felt relieved I wasn’t wearing pants this time. I will have to buy more of these scrolls in the near future and correct this slight flaw I’m having.

Thankfully, I went flaccid before entering the auction house and started mingling with the crowd. I must admit I’m rather proud with myself for my disguise, for none of the scribes recognized me, which I took as an invitation to be overly flirting with them. My plan was to make them touch my boobs before revealing myself to them, which would entertain me to no end for at least two or three days, but we were interrupted by a surprise zombie attack, along with crawling hands. The zombies attacked the crowd of civilians without prejudice, but our band dispatched them easily and were about to win the night until a mummy emerged from the backroom (where all the stuff to be sold was stored… stuff left UNGUARDED! Teehee-heeeee) and joined the fray.

I blame my new female form for what happened next, for I became paralysed with fear at the sight of it and couldn’t move. Thank the gods I didn’t faint, too!

After shaking the fear off my tits, I quickly gulped down a potion of invisibility to the undead, but it failed to trick the mummy and it attacked me, hurting me badly. My mind raced to find a solution and on a whim, I activated my “cursed” ring to become an undead. It worked! The mummy lost interest in me to look for living targets, giving me respite. The tide turned yet again to our favor and I quickly ran into the back storage room and grabbed any small items I could to stuff into my generous cleavage before exiting. I finally pilfered stuff for my own benefit! Yay Samira!

As the group surveyed the damage around them, I joined them and revealed myself to them, to the shock of them all. My scribes are growing up to be powerful battle mages, but there is still work to do, as they were still scared from the fight to sample my newly acquired goods, even after many invitations. Oh well.

As we made our way to the Tooth and Hookah, the sounds of battles and screams of terror came from everywhere in the city, signaling similar attacks through Whadi. Our group of heroes decided to patrol the streets around our inn to help the guards and we soon came upon a tipped waggon where zombies and ghouls were busy eating their occupants. I didn’t lose time and used my second most prized possession on the undead, unleashing a fireball that hit right in the middle of them, thus facilitating our victory for a second time within an hour! I even finished one of them myself with a Disrupt Undead spell! ME! We’re the Mewling Quims no more! Yay!

When the threat was gone, I quickly searched the wagon and found a secret compartment on my own! Finally! I’m useful! Samir. Is, USEFUL!

Now we are back in our inn, discussing for a strategy. I’m sure our scribes will find the best course of action within the next month, so no worries there from me. I’m more worried on the side effects of my present predicaments, for I just came back from the outhouse and my poop is noodle-thin. Next time I’ll make my waist larger…

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Journal of Rhea Amelia Namtab - Part 5
Game 7 - The Auction

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The masters send us back to the forsaken desert town. After spending the day gathering information in town, I join my colleagues – minus Samir – at the auction my master has foreseen will lead us to the missing mask.

Orfée and I work the room, meeting many interesting people. While a handsome young blacksmith does attract my attention more than he should have, our real target – I suspect – is a suspicious cleric who seems to be followed by some invisible entity. He leaves early in the evening, but not before I surreptitiously tag him with my Compact of Seeing. I observe him from time to time as he makes his way to the riverside merchant district and finds himself in a bit of trouble.

However, my attention is suddenly caught by unwelcome visitors at the front door of the auction house: a half dozen undead have entered the grounds. I doubt they are here for the artwork. The four of us attack, trying to protect the panicking civilians around us. For my part, I trap a pair of zombies in a magical pit. I could have gotten more, but would have risked the lives of two fallen civilians.

Later, the ghouls and zombies are joined by a horde of crawling claws, one of which beelines for the cute blacksmith. I throw him my dagger and attempt to aid him, without emasculating him. Nasah and Hasdrubal continue to contain the undead onslaught. They are aided in this both by Orfée, and by a buxom lady lacking both modesty and a sense of self-preservation.

Meanwhile, a mother and daughter get trapped underneath some rubble, as a mummy bursts out of the auction house’s vault. I quickly send a summoned elemental to dig out the two women, and call upon one of my strongest allies – a lantern archon – to aid in the battle against the mummy.

We are finally victorious. The buxom girl reveals herself to be a transmogrified Samir, and so the five of us, plus the blacksmith, slowly make our way back to the Tooth and Hookah, helping ensure the streets are safe along the way.

We stumble upon an overturned wagon. It is filled with zombies. After a short fight, we examine the vehicle. It was a custom job, used to smuggle in corpses. I suspect it was used for the illicit trade of Mumia, a horrible drug made from corpses. We find clues in the cart tying the shipment to a local criminal cartel. How far down the rabbit hole will this path lead us?

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Journal of Rhea Amelia Namtab - Part 4
Game 6 - Showdown under the Temple

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The last part of our journey in the Necropolis went about as well as could be expected. In other words, it was a complete disaster and we only survived – barely – because of sheer dumb luck.

I will admit to daydreaming while my cohorts investigated a secret room located in the corridor just outside where we cowardly zapped a stone guardian into rubble, which explains in part how a rogue wizard, sorcerer, assassin and cleric sneaked up and ambushed us. In hindsight, however, staying there in order to brush up on spell memorization that should have been completed in the morning might also been a poor idea.

The assassin trapped our big guns in the secret room, where they could not unleash their most powerful abilities in such close quarters.

Meanwhile, in the corridor, I stole the sorcerer’s breath with a spell, preventing him from unleashing a second spell unto my group, and causing him to flee to the next room. I cast invisibility and tried to locate the magical mask we thought was stolen from the secret room, hoping to pick pocket out of enemy hands and use it as a bargaining chip. No luck. And no mask within 400 meters…

I go on the offensive, trying to summon a monstrous rat, but am revealed by the wizard’s Glitterdust spell and subsequently subject to the sorcerers Shocking Grasp, disrupting my concentration and negating my spell.

We finally defeat the priest and the sorcerer. The assassin stops attacking in exchange for safe passage.

I opened a portal, and shout for Hasdrubal to bull rush the rogue wizard through the portal. I daze the leader, hoping we can isolate the leader by forcing her to teleport to the Academy.
Samir attempts the bull rush, but fails to push our foe into the portal. She turns invisible and flees, successfully.

After making a deal with the assassin for a share of the loot, we search the rest of the underground, defeat a powerful undead, leave two cariatid collumns alone, and retrieve the Akhat heartstone, but fail to locate the magical mask that used to be in a secret room we had found before we were ambushed.

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