The Red Hand

Samir's adventure log : Damsel in distress (or was it the scribes?)

What. In. The. Nine. HELLS was that???
I mean, I’ve been known to act in weird ways after a night of drinking, but THAT one REALLY out there!
I spent a whole day getting into all sorts of trouble, thanks to that damned Theofyr… I have to admit though… nice one, my arrogant friend! Ha!
This nightmarish day wasn’t a complete failure on my part though, for while I was in the midst of an “episode” at the library, my groggy mind caught some information that could be VITAL to Hasdy’s limerence (ha!) towards his sister.
Yes, something about a passage in a ledger of some sort concerning dear ol’ daddy-o and a town called Bithia where, I assume, he has business dealings there. Time to round up the crew and get to save a presumably purrty damsel in distress!
Let’s start with Orfée.


Well, that was rude! Orfée won’t even come to this little adventure of ours! Said she’s “busy”… then closed her door in my face while I was trying to sneak a peek. Well, no matter! Samir is a resourceful chap and his curiosity shall be satiated henceforth!


Ok, all I saw was Orfée walking down her quarters out of sight and saying “Now, where were we…?”
THAT kind of activity and no invitation extended to Samir!?? How rude! I live for these kinds of hobbies!
…well, not anymore I guess, but it’s a technicality I will address later on. Rude, Orfée, RUDE! Phhha!


Next stop: Mavrikos!


Ok, apparently, our resident zealot was found hanged in his quarters with a hand down his pants and a slice of lemon in his hand. Always the “virtuous”…


While coming back from another disappointing refusal-for-help, this time from Rhea (stuck apprenticing to Baba Yaga the Hag), I was accosted by Vikkard’s lady, asking that I go meet the Conjuration Headmaster (the one whose quarters I made a mess in. Oh boy… here it comes…). This will not be pleasant!


Well, slap my ass and call me Althea! I survived! Walk through it like a breeze! The old funny-speaking scribe wasn’t even angry at me! Turns out that, when they were busy realigning some doodads I screwed around with, they found out they had miscalculated something or other and Rasputin got somehow involved in this story, but at that point I wasn’t really listening. HOWEVER, that sneaky little (powerful!) man got me in the end: he forced none other than my arch-nemesis, Theofyr! Now he’s to tag along our little group in order to “observe” our shenanigans. I’m in hell!


Hasdy is in his rooms (for a change! Ha!), but seems apprehensive of my presence at his door. A fear of last day’s “adventure”, perhaps? Surely not! I’m the one who will have to answer to very powerful scribes in the not-so-distant future. Regardless, I quickly bring him up to date about my find, but ask him and Nasah to go double-check, just to make sure there are no more details that could help us locate his old man. Me…? I’ll stay away from the head librarian for a few days/months/years/lifetimes…


After a little help from that arrogant fop, we are ready to go! And off to Bithia we go!
Well… near the city anyways. At least Orfée and the zealot aren’t there to lose a full day arguing about what is a delta and where is north, so there’s that.
We arrive a few leagues out of the city walls and set out towards it. After a while, we start hearing hideous laughter sounds coming from the high grass. Sure enough, we eventually see six giant hyenas that are stalking us, ready for a quick and easy meal. They are still far enough away that we can choose a defensible terrain and wait for them to attack. Me? Well, I assume my true form, getting rid of my puny shell to spread my gigantic, majestic wings. So the hyenas changed their minds and ran away in search of an easier prey. Ha! Illusions, is there anything you CAN’T do (shut up, Hasdy!)?
The higher powers must like me, that’s for sure!


So we arrive at an inn and we pass ourselves off as merchants, scouting for possible future deals. Due to my humble attire, Theofyr quickly sets my role as a servant, that bastard. No matter, I can play the part real well… all you have to do is to keep your pinky up all the time and shape your lips like a rooster’s asshole. Easy-peasy!


Ok, we investigated and came up with a plan of staying in character as much as possible and then we pull the Academy card, saying we are investigating a possible magic user within Hasdrubal’s father’s family and we would like details about the whereabouts of his daughter.


For some reason, the scribes seems to have forgotten about our plan, because we did not use it and we kept trying to stay in character and we ended up with failure. We ended up showing our hand, revealing Hasdrubal’s identity and finally, we invited the dad to a sit-down in a public place on the next day.


What? The scribes are actually planning on meeting the dad that, for all purposes, should be dead because of his son’s action, was an asshole to begin with AND from our information gathering, we came to know NOT to double-cross his house, or else? Surely they jest! Surely! ….surely…
Well, good ol’ Samir will take care of this! You just watch me!


Ok, so first, I buy a lamb and go kill it in a dark alley. THEN, I learn that killing a lamb make a LOT of noise. THEN? Well, I learn that the city guards can be bought off in order to erase this small mistake of mine.
Now the fun part starts! So first, I change the lamb into a perfect copy of Hasdrubal, THEN, I animate that bad boy, but with enhancements. THEN? Well, then I have a NAKED Hasdrubal in an alley, waiting on my command. A quick change and he now wears my pauper’s robes. Problem solved! Just gotta remember to change him before the meeting (hint: I will forget, damnit!).
We now have a great replica of Hasdrubal and are ready to meet his father. And should we fall into an ambush, the ambushers would soon become the ambushes! It’s FOOL PROOF!


Damned Galph and his spurious details-giving about spells! Surely that chap does not intend for me to do the research on things I purchase for my adventure!?? The gall, I say! The GALL!!!
So two problems occurred at this point with my plan. First, how was I supposed to know that I could ONLY make the puppet speak and not listen? When I saw 2 guards from Hamilcar’s house approaching the decoy and speak to it, I could not make out what they were saying, so I made the puppet tell them to wait and come over here (where I was within earshot, disguised as a beggar). The funny faces they made when the puppet spoke surprised me quite a bit. Did they see through the treachery that quick???


…well… turns out that I should have bribed a town official to have a cadaver instead of sculpt-sculpting a lamb. Do you know why? Well, Galph (again!) forgot to tell me that the sculpt corpse spell only plays with the appearance of the corpse but did not change its attributes, such as… its voice. Ever heard of a lamb that got its voice box modified to be able to speak the common tongue of Men, but that’ it? Well, now I know…


It wasn’t a complete disaster though, for when the decoy confirmed his “true” identity, the guards proceeded to kill him on the spot, under the very nose of the city guards, who did nothing!
Glad to not have started a fight that time, eh!??
Oh… it’s also when I saw the guards leave with my pauper’s robes that I remembered to remove them before this meeting. That one’s on me, Galph. I got you, brother.


Not much else to say other than when we went back to the inn, a messenger brought a summons from the old man himself and the scribes decided to enter the compound (you know, the place filled with guards under daddy’s employ? (sigh)). It quickly turned ugly between Daddy and Son, Daddy told Hasdy his sister was dead, Hasdy didn’t believe it, Daddy stabbed Hasdy with a poisoned dagger, Hasdy was about to die, Theofyr teleported us to the inn, then to the Academy, Hasdy was saved (barely! What’s with that guy’s streak of bad luck lately?), and we are now back to square one. We’ll need more scribes when we go back, that’s for sure!

To be continued…

Comments

The reason couldn’t use the ‘magic user within family’ was because the servant had said ‘Lord Hamilcar has no son, he only had a daughter’ (aka the latter said in the past tense).

 

So a slight change of the reason would’ve sufficed? ;)

 

No no that’s fine. This is Samir’s interpretation of events after all. :-) I’m just making a note here for posterity for when historians will be discussing the events of our careers.

 

Tbh… with my ADD… it’s kinda my interpretstion too based on incomplete data as usual lol

Cardinalis Cardinalis

I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.